Christmas Tree Of Life - Seasons Of Loss

Each Christmas as I unpack the tree and begin to unbox the decorations I pass through a ritual of remembrance which is always very special to me, and to my daughter too.

It is with pleasure that we relive the life of each bauble ‘Remember this one Mummy ?...we bought this at Disney….ah look my favourite set…….I love these ones!’

I’m pretty sure many a family do the same thing as us.

For me the tree ritual was made all the more memorable when my Mum’s friend lost her life on my birthday…which falls the week before Christmas. I recall dressing the tree with my Mum, and feeling the presence of Adrienne and the significance of being able to dress the tree with my family……… our love for family and friends and fellow man entwined in the process.

For me the Christmas tree represents the tree of Life…the fact that no matter what comes and goes that life will continue on and on. Each bauble represents a life, a light that has made the tree more beautiful than ever. A light which glows as a reminder of the joy of life.

When we lose loved ones, we can ask ourselves the question ‘Would they want to see me sad and weepy ?’  Of course the answer is no! ‘Would they want me to be miserable and depressed?’ Of course the answer is no!

After Christmas the tree is taken down and the baubles laid to rest for another year and so it is with grief….we bring it out of the box…we feel emotions around it and then we lay it to rest for another season. Given time the baubles that once held a sad memory are replaced with fond memories of what has been and with a gratitude for the present day and how it has shaped out lives.

It is all part of the tree of life….and Christmas is one season out of four that we are given opportunity to review our feeling, thoughts and emotions.

What may seem too painful for some….. as Christmas contrasts a lot of happy emotions against those who are suffering. Think about the key questions about what your loved one would wish for you. Dwell on that loving feeling, yet don’t push sadness away because it is part of releasing the grief. After so long

Last week as I drove up the motorway…I was tuned in to some classical music which took me to some rarely visited memories, memories of what was, how life used to be before the painful loss and I allowed myself to feel sad and cry. This act actually felt really good….inside my heart and outside….mmmm….I was letting it go!

I’m not sure whether ‘control freaks’ suffer loss as a means to let go, or whether grief makes you a control freak, afraid to let go – please feel free to add your own comments

As a final note:

Remember that the tree of life always involves a Spring pruning, a Summer flowering, an Autumn shed and a Winter sparkle.

Wishing you to sparkle this Christmas and with hope guiding you to know that loss and grief can heal

Wishing you Peace this Christmastime

Lynn

#Grief #Loss #Christmas #Tree of Life #Lynnhopethomas #Lossrepeats

Take a Christmas Holiday on Grief!

Mmm, It’s getting close to Christmas and for many that will be a time they remember their lost ones and feel somewhat saddened that they are not there with them over what should be a loving and blissful time of the year….well that is if you celebrate Christmas as a Christian. I guess other religious denominations may also be caught up with everyone around them being joyous and so they feel sad too at this time of year.

I want to be sensitive to those who are experiencing grief, yet at the same time I need to be firm with you as you do not have to feel the grief! That’s right…you do not have to feel the grief of the loss of your loved one. That does not mean that you disregard them, or that you ignore the loss you have suffered, it simply means that there IS a process, which CAN relieve the grief and allow you to feel a sense of well-being, gratitude and allow you to feel close to your loved one.

The process is a method I have experienced and have seen countless other people experience with amazing results. I was so amazed that I wrote a book called ‘Breaking Through Loss’  http://amzn.to/1p8i2Pe because I had an incredible realisation that I had allowed loss and grief and was still allowing loss and grief to affect my life…and to affect it for forty years !! I can’t bear thinking that I did that, as life is short and meant to be lived to the full enjoyment of the gift that God has given us.

Oh how can I get the message across to you so that you do not have to suffer your emotional pain?

 For some people they do not experience grief to the same extent – have you ever wondered why not? I always thought that they must not have loved the person, because when you do not love someone you don’t cry and grieve over them do you?

I witnessed a father lose his son and he was calm and centered

and I simply could not understand why he was not experiencing extreme grief – not that I wished that upon him, because I know only too well, what it is like to suffer a BIG loss and then for it to repeat two weeks later!! It is pretty much close to hell but not as close to hell as some get.

Here are a few insights that I have learnt:

·         Grief is a one-sided emotion in your perception….yes it feels very real and hurts

·         It is an addiction to the traits you loved about a person, and is similar to a drug addict having their drug taken away.

·         Grief  thrives off fantasies and delusions

Grief can be balanced once we dissolve the fantasies and delusions, and weigh in the ignored perceptions you had about the person.

Once dissolved grief opens the heart centre to LOVE and at that point you can experience relief and joy.

Please read my book to understand more, I wrote it as a guide for people because believing someone say that grief can be dissolved is unusual and easily dismissed however when you can weigh up the facts and the scientific evidence then maybe ….just maybe this Christmas you can have your heart and joy back allowing it to beat with LOVE

 http://amzn.to/1p8i2Pe

Thank You For protecting my life

For all brave soldiers
“Remember them ……………brave  bold and bright

………….as the Poppy fields bloom in full red flight

Deep with colour their love flows strong

Each head raised up in perfect song

In the wind blowing all floral flags are raised

Not one not two but thousands are praised

We braved our loved ones to champion the fight

So all our land could sleep safe at night

Yet now we grieve those beautiful souls, indeed ‘twas their choice to defend

And ours now  is to rise above loss, allowing our hearts to mend”

Poem by Lynn Hope Thomas

There cannot be a family out there unaffected in some way from the loss of a loved one.

'Celebrate' does seem an odd word when mixed with loss, though in celebrating we can honor the bravery and the lives lost in order to save the rest of us.

It give a much greater chance to help all the survivors of war. Whether a soldier, a father, a brother, a husband, partner , mother, daughter, it is by allowing the remembrance of what took place, we allow an opportunity for those who may have buried emotion, to recall some of the mixed and powerful emotions and allow them rise up once again and be felt.

Every person experiences loss and grief differently, no two people are the same. Some can process it with or without help and some appear to be managing it but hidden symptoms can show up as anger, depression, alcoholism and other unhealthy distractions.

Buried emotion can go deeper than a trench, like a grand canyon. At times a person may not even be conscious that grief is affecting their life. For example children have a natural protection mechanism whereby they can appear unaffected by incidents, only to find that later in life they need to process the unresolved grief.

As a child I’ve always had a fascination for war and death. My Nana, recounted many stories from WW1 of fallen family, wounded soldiers and trips to the air raid shelters. I would listen intent on every word, and by every word, I felt as though I had experienced the war for myself. I knew what I would do, how I would react, in fact I knew how I would feel. Nana shared with me postcards that family soldiers had embroidered for the family – secretly it broke my heart to read their messages of how they missed home and family.

Never did I know that one day I would know firsthand how tragic loss can wreak havoc in families.

It is not just sympathy I have for anyone suffering from loss at this Remembrance Day but true empathy. I know the hurt, the pain, the lost dreams, and the incredible impact that loss can have on any one life.

It would be wrong to say that the pain is constant and remains forever, that is not true. The pain slowly dissipates over time and sometimes it falls into a slumber, only to be awakened by a raging furnace of emotion that can be so totally destructive.

Well, for me it was like that, you see I buried the emotion, as a child I didn’t speak about it, I thought I was doing a good job of being a brave little girl when it was hurting, and then when the pain was in slumber I played and laughed and had a great time, so why would I know that I had a problem ? I didn’t - I was loving life and making the most of it.

So you see…experts can guide you as to what to do, but if you are in that period of slumber, nothing is going to be ‘needed’. Experts can offer loads of stuff and still you won’t ‘need’ any of it!

So why am I writing this? Okay, partially it is to help myself, I guess that in some respects it allows me the chance to express how I felt after loss, you see……elements are always there. Though I must say I have had a big shift in my loss and grief, a chance, an opportunity to see that most of what I have lived and survived through was totally unnecessary!

Believe it - well you WILL find it difficult to!!

DON’T let that stop you from reading on. If you are looking to find a recovery from the pain of grief, if you are interested in how unresolved loss and grief and affect your life, how it can stop you from living a full blown wonderful, beautiful and blossomed life then read on!

If you are a doubter, prefer to bury your head in the sand then don’t read on, but at least open your mind to the possibility that when you ignore the messages from the universe to balance out your perception to loss – then the Universe kicks back harder and harder until you are ready to listen. If that happens to you, then remember my blog, remember that I have empathy, I know the pain and that my mission is to help you find relief from that.

Yes…I finally discovered that after forty years of cycling through pain, tears, grief, not to mention failed relationships and all the scenarios recreated to allow me to feel loss…I finally found a tool to allow me to overcome that pain.

My blog now has a purpose which is to reach out to as many people as I can; people who have suffered from loss and grief.

Poppies turns to Roses

“I AM – the flower of love……

I DON’T SEE : Race, religion, color, weight, school, country, politics, job role, clothes, diet, fans, celebrities, cars, material wealth….

I SEE people, family, community, togetherness, negotiation, resolution, overcoming storms and battles towards peace, weapons falling , hearts opening, sharing, feeding, nurturing and love.

Never underestimate a poppy! Grateful and Blessed

Okay – I could blog for the sake of blogging but that isn’t me. I blog when I have something important to share.

Last week was my twin sisters birthday 18^th October  - I didn’t blog, that was personal stuff.

I wrote ‘Breaking Through Loss’ to help others with grief. I shared a lot of personal stuff in that book,the aim was to help others…and so it is with my blog. A desire and aim to help and support other grievers NOT a forum to advertise my life and everything that is happening in it.

Now we have that out of the way, I would like to say a big thanks for coming into my site and spending time reading my blogs.

Please do feedback to me on your own thoughts.

Tonites blog is about an experience this week that stopped me in my tracks!

At work I travel for an hour and half mainly by train, then I enter the ‘work’ building. You know the one, the one where you treat everyone as a ‘work being’ – we have relationships to do work but in terms of genuine wholesome fulfilling relationships I think most are quite shallow.

As I walk in to the lift that takes me up to the second floor ( yes I could do the stairs)

Instead I get into the lift,packed with people. I see a co-worker with a poppy pinned to his chest, and I make the comment about how sweet his poppy looks. My intentions are genuine and heartfelt. I love the poppy as a flower and I love the meaning of the poppy and I love what it represents. Of course he does not know this about me.

Then….he responds…….wait a moment - I cannot give you a good description of his reply.

It was matter of fact but packed with a punch as powerful as a bomb!

His response was this :

‘ Oh yeh, the poppy. Well I was in church, and I saw a friend, I said to him ‘ Ah…are you back home for your daughter’s birthday ?  - and he said to me ‘No!’ – I came back with a body in a coffin’………….

 or words to that effect.

My God, those words ricochet even now. He totally dropped a bomb, he stopped me in my tracks, he made me value every poppy ever made, I instantly knew of the sacrifice that brave men had made for MY benefit!

I love the man who died, who gave his life for me, I love his family and his friends.

I won’t ever let the sight of a poppy stop me from thinking or feeling my true essence

Grateful and blessed

Rough Week for October

We all know this one!

So be kind to each other
Be kind to yourself

Embrace yourself by putting your arms around yourself in a hug!

Then say ' I love you my darling, you have worked hard and deserve a treat!'

A treat is coming

You are loved


Then tell me in full what traits and actions you want to receive in your life

The more specific you can be then the more likely you are to attract it!



Love Lynn

October - Shake it off!

How are you peeps ? Firstly my friend Max lost his sister this week and I leave it to Max to navigate the grief. Whilst there is I am absolutely 100% certain I can relieve his emotions around the grief using my skills with the Demartini Method, it is not in his interests to push my values onto him nor would it work. Only when a person is ready to shake it off, will they consider seeking help.

I guess then depending on who you speak to and their experience, your best chance is to run an internet search for support, or visit your Doctor, who probably could prescribe anti-depressants to suggest you speak to a psychologist to help talk about your grief.Think carefully about this route ...mmm.

I say 'Shake it Off'!

And you can, I can assist you with an amazing method of questioning that when applied in a persistent manner, and managed correctly by a skilled and trained facilitator. You will be able to 'Shake it Off!'  - You will be able to alleviate the painful emotions of grief and replace them with heartfelt love for your lost one. Whether that is a parent, a sibling a child or partner, or a dear friend or family member.

You regain the pzazz for life that your loved one wants for you.

After all, do you really think they want to see you living in a sad, depressed and minimized way ? Especially when they have moved their spirit into full blown high energy and are having a ball themselves.

I can take you through why grief occurs, and what it means and how to redress those symptoms and replace them with love and warmth that means you can once again live life and feel like you ARE living , instead of feeling down and depressed. Come on! Shake it off!

Contact me if you would like to know more or read my book to understand more of what I am talking about and more about the changes that you can experience. http://amzn.to/1p8i2Pe

#Grief #Life #Love #Shakeitoff #Breakingthroughloss

For Laura and anyone grieving loss of babies

Tonite I write about Laura, three years on she is grieving the loss of her twin babies. She exhibits what are understandably the signs of loss and grief. Many of her friends cannot truly relate as they are not in the state of grief.

Grief lasts longer than sympathy and friend’s patience wears out, only adding to the loss of a griever.

How many more years will she choose to go through the grief? I have already given her my book ‘breaking through loss’ the one book dedicated to helping others understand that grief is truly a choice – you can chose to transcend it by working through it with a trained Demartini Method facilitator.

Strangely though that is not a choice for her.

That brings me back to the point that people will only chose change when the pain is strong enough to warrant that.

What does that mean? It means that for Laura, the pain of her baby’s deaths is serving her in some way, the pain is not that great. When it becomes great – only then will she seek to change things.

It is not easy to understand is it? Why one would chose the pain of loss over the prospect of change?

Well yes…change is painful too.

The loss of two babies is more preferable pain than that of change.

That is quite challenging as a statement – don’t you think?

Okay so think about this…so Laura continues in her grief……there is no defined period that one suffers grief. It could go on for say five years, who determines how long it goes on for?

The strength of Laura’s emotion is about how much she loved her babies, how much her dreams of a future were dashed. At three years on she is imagining the life she should have had, would have had, if they had lived.

In effect she is living in a fantasy/delusion. It is one we can break and get her to reality. Yet she chooses grief over reality.

I have given her my book, I wrote it to help people suffering grief, I thought that if they read my story they would see that I COULD HELP them.

Truth is they don’t see that!!! That is so upsetting for me. I need to know why, why do they not want to read my book that will help them?

Can you help me to understand?

Wake Up Calls – Time to appreciate your loved ones

Wow! I had a massive wakeup call towards the end of last week. Even though I am mindful of appreciating my family, one has to admit that one does get complacent, especially when a family member is irritating us.

Well, as much as I try to be the perfect loving person, I know that in reality a truly ‘loving person’ makes all the mistakes that I make.

Life and love is about likes and dislikes, ying and yang, black and white. So when God then sends a test to us – our true colours come to life!

My mother who is now in her seventies, fell and hit her head on a wall and also a concrete floor. The scene looked like something more sinister had happened and despite my confusion, listening to my Mother’s demand to get home ‘Now’! And assessing the scene, I knew I had to ensure that she received the best care.

It was a long night and even though things are not like they used to be, I was thankful that at least we have a place to go, at least as some sensible point a Doctor would look at my mother’s injuries.

During the time waiting, for which I am grateful for, I was able to show my Mother how much I loved and care for her. We were able to share funny one-liners and also listen and watch the amazing events unfold that are typical of an Accident and Emergency ward. We noted that being over the age of seventy, having suffered a head injury and still bleeding with a bump the size of a satsuma, was in fact not much of an emergency at all – preference made way for drunks, and even a young ‘Justin Bieber’ lookalike who said he had been bitten by a ‘wild animal’!  

Just for the record, we don’t really have any wild animals in England, so I am still uncertain how he got a priority over my poor Mother.

That said, I am grateful for the wait, I am grateful for the time I spent with my amazing Mother. She had suffered concussion and yet was displaying the most admiral strength and resilience you can imagine.

Then again, I have been allowed to see what many people perhaps can’t. I have been privileged to experience a great loss. You see my Mother lost her two babies, many years ago, she endured the cruellest of nature’s wrath and had to survive the ordeal. Sometimes I just can’t get my head around it – she is a tough cookie! What was also my loss too, that of my beautiful sisters, I can’t know what losing two children may feel like, I can only imagine it as a Mother. I do know what it is like to lose siblings …which was pretty awful.

Anyhow I believe that those losses explain to some degree how my Mother has toughened up on the outside. For me these are amazing lessons, I feel honoured to share these times with my Mother. I am blessed to know such an incredible woman.

I later spent some time with my father and he too was in awe of the amount of strength and poise my Mother had. She never once moaned or complained during the eight hours at the hospital, crikey it took about five hours before anyone looked at her wound or dressed it. That said I am grateful for the special time I spent caring for my Mother and that is thanks to the NHS service and the crews who work there.

Yes the whole incident was a wakeup call. Nature’s way of reminding me that time is running out, am I doing all I can to ensure I show my love and care for my family and friends?

Have I done enough to thank my Mother for all she has done, all she has been through?

I don’t want to live with any regrets. I don’t want to be left here with her passed and not have said all that I need to say to her.

One of the biggest regrets people have on loss, is not ever having their loved one that they loved them.

So please have a think about it ….imagine your loved one has passed, think about what you need and want to say to them and then find a time when you can begin telling them just how much you care.

Can you do that? I would really love to hear your own stories, please come back and tell me how you got on, and if you feel you can’t then come and tell me what is stopping you and I can see how I can help you!

I know I am not the most eloquent blogger, I do have a genuine heart and if I can help you, I will!

Thanks for reading, sending you loving energy and smiling as I picture you smiling too

I am grateful

God Bless!

Infatuation creates loss – God Bless Dr Wayne Dyer

When someone dies, their physical presence leaves what we know as planet earth. To us they have ‘died’ yet actually their spiritual presence has not gone anywhere.

Nothing is ever missing.

Grief kicks in when we have infatuations about certain traits they have and now because we can no longer experience the buzz they gave us, we actually suffer a withdrawal symptom, very much like that of a cocaine addict or an alcoholic.

As much as I know about grief, I was deeply saddened this last month to learn that Dr Wayne Dyer had passed.

I found myself suffering grief, I cried nearly every night this last week, choosing to watch some of his work – ‘The Shift’ on youtube – he actually talks about his awareness in the ‘afternoon’ of life in which spiritually he was becoming more aware of God’s presence, he had even told people that he was not afraid of dying and was prepared for the next part of the journey.

Wayne had suffered from leukemia and was happy to report that ‘John of God’ had indeed cured him and he was in remission. Reports from close family and friends say that he actually died of a heart attack.

Whatever took him, I feel took him too soon. He was only 75 and had several worthy years left in which he could spread his knowledge and love. I was deeply saddened and even now I want to cry a tear because I love this man.

In 2012 I was fortunate to be on the Holland America cruise line touring the Fijian islands along with about 500 other Hay House fans. The trip was a most magical experience, one of the most special experiences I have ever had. There was so much love on board and amongst us was – Reid Tracy, Cheryl Richardson, and Serena Dyer was with her father Dr Wayne Dyer.

I will never forget the afternoon that Wayne shared some of his life stories, how he was an orphan, how he grew up, how he traced his father to his father’s headstone, how he felt, how he forgave his father.

We cried with him as he told us that he knew the father he had always longed for and wanted recognition from, had listed his name on the tombstone.

He played some of his favourite music and the room filled with his warmth and love, he sat there in his flat cap, smiling and looking at all of us with love. I sobbed, as I felt his love healing me from all the terrible things I had ever experienced – he was lifting me.

Nothing seemed to matter anymore, we were all one, in a room, in the middle of the ocean bathing in love. How incredible and how wonderfully blessed to be experiencing this.

I cry now, in grief no less. Yet I know that grief is a sign of infatuation and as true to the Demartini method as it can be, there were many on the cruise ship who were infatuated with Dr Wayne Dyer. On our travels we learn that in direct balance to our ‘love boat’, there was big resentments on another leader or rather Captain regarding the capsizing of the Costa Concordia in the Italian waters.

Dr Wayne Dyer has dedicated his life to helping others heal from life’s challenges, he has written numerous books which guide people through the labyrinth of the spiritual world and how what we think and tell ourselves is the world we end up creating.

If you have not heard of him, then I strongly recommend that you begin to read some of his books now. Personally I find them most inspiring and wonderful reads.

In the meantime I shall explore my grief and balance out the perceptions that I something is missing, because in reality nothing is missing. Check out the photo offered by Serena Dyer on the day the family spread Wayne’s ashes in the sea in Maui. If you look closely you will see Wayne’s face.

Faith and Persistence ?

In this moment I consider my path. Having repeated what appear to be unhealthy cycles for 40 years and then having discovered stuff! Awakening my inner soul, like a 'bull at a gate' I ploughed into writing my story - I didn't write it for me! I wrote it for others, to ease their heartache! and then I see this poster, from a rather clever man! I didn't attempt to ease another's heartache in order to forget my own heartache!!! Goodness sake - I wrote it having learnt from my heartache, remembering my own and how it was transformed into love.

I have spent time,money and sacrificed to bring myself to this point, only faith and persistence can keep me on track because it is tough roller coaster!

Most people want to tell me that there is nothing that can be done about grief, it is natural, you HAVE to feel it.
Yet I KNOW that it is a choice! I KNOW that it HURTS....I UNDERSTAND that you want to stick to the feeling of grief, the sadness, the loss. I can explain all of it and guide you though it.

God give me faith and persistence, I INTEND to push through the barrier of disbelief

I WILL knock the barrier down

I WILL eventually attract several well known celebrity clients who want to experience what I know

Grief is a choice and can be overcome !! You can work through the saddest and most difficult loss and achieve a feeling of peace, tranquility,love and appreciation.

Email me if you would like more information

LHT

Grief - Excuses Begone!

I am really pleased to get inspired today to talk about grief. A friend has recently lost his wife after 30 happy years together and yes it is a big loss, one which was seen coming as she battled through breast cancer. Of course the journey will have been long, challenging and painful and now the final loss. I have offered support as best I know how with the use of the Demartini Method, long before the passing.

The truth is that our culture and belief system here in the UK and probably much of the Western world honors grief like almost life a trophy.

The depth of grief can be perceived as signifying the depth of love you have for someone and this could not be further from the truth. I do not question that you ‘love’ the one you have lost however when you are in the state of perceiving grief you are not allowing your mind to balance out the emotion, the one which is causing you a lot of pain. I’ll talk about this balancing in a moment.

I just want to say too, that often those around such as family and friends can through their misperceptions keep grievers stuck in grief. Some prefer to hide behind these excuses and are simply not prepared to give something new a try. I understand, especially when one is in grief, maybe I am different, I know what my own grief was like and I would have jumped at the chance. I didn’t have that luxury back in 1972.

On average it is recognized in the medical profession that it can take one to two years for the average person to overcome loss of a partner. The reality is that under current circumstances with no realistic intervention, it takes some longer and for others they never get over it.

I would like to help in changing that, as it is a truly devastating for not only for the individual but also for their families, robbing them of joy and life unnecessarily.

Coming back to the balancing out of perceptions, this is very real and successful for those open to allowing their set beliefs and religious views to be adjusted with a new experience. After all there is more to lose and everything to gain by giving it a try.

When the balancing is undertaken, using a questioning technique that seeks out memories, there reaches a point in which the griever has a ‘aha’ moment of truth, one which can be extremely awakening to the mind and they can experience ‘love’ for the person.

It truly is something to be experienced, in a few hours one can transfer emotions from extreme agony and pain to feelings of being at peace, feeling love, honoring their loved one, feeling close to their loved one. If there is any bitterness or anger etc. this departs leaving the griever in a more energized state and inspired for life.

I wrote ‘Breaking Through Loss’ http://amzn.to/1p8i2Pe to lead people to this realization that no-one has to suffer grief. You can read that as a start, or you can respond to my google+ if you have a queries or wish to contact me.

Loss cannot be forgotten however grief IS a wound that can be healed

As many British families nurse the trauma of lost loved ones in Tunisia something our service families continually face….one lady is claiming that grief can be healed more speedily.

 “Grief for the dead is a wound that never heals. But it’s a pain that proves we are human”

Lingering grief is like a slow death, it robs people of living an inspired life, something their loved ones would have wanted, instead of painful emotions. People who face major loss such as losing a loved one in a traumatic event or in armed conflict often end up burying their emotions and never really dealing with them.

Often we hear grief stories a decade on such as  ‘A Song for Jenny’ recently shown on TV bearing witness to Julie Nicholson’s loss of her daughter in the 7/7 bombings

How much improved lives will be if we can teach people how to dissolve the emotion of grief

 We often hear people say that the pain never goes away, and that it’s like the tragic situation has only just happened

For some the grieving continues long after the loss and can last a lifetime 

I know from firsthand experience what it is to suffer grief and to have that loss completely shape your life. When I was nine years old my twin sisters aged 11 tragically died 

Fast forward four decades of repeated loss because I never dissolved the grief, I believe the experience I have had and from the fairly recent research I have done I understand how to dissolve grief

Buried grief, buries you! It can cause significant problems for people including loss of relationships, loss of businesses, financial loss and physical illness! 

There is a five step process to dissolving grief:

  

·                     Identify the specific traits you loved in the person, instead of a generalization

·                     Recognise who and where these traits are now appearing in your life

·                     Look for traits you disliked about the person, as difficult as that may seem

·                     Balancing out of the traits

·                     Be open to connecting spiritually with your loved one 

I experienced how grief is a choice and it can be overcome far more quickly than is ever believed 

 People can let go of the grief and live inspired and fulfilling lives, it doesn’t mean their loss never happened, it means they can remember them with fondly without the emotional pain 

#Grief #Loss #Breakingthroughloss

Do listen to wisdom on grief - it can help you!

Tonite I want to write so much.

I feel inspired after reading ‘Breaking Through Loss’.

I was reminded of why I wrote my book, of the absolute confidence and knowledge that I AM able to bring guidance and relief to anyone suffering grief.

I am not here to tell you to buy the book, I am not in it to win it!

I AM here to listen and to help YOU –

Please connect and talk to me.

Ah! Just got it …. Mirror mirror!

 I myself am so guilty of NOT connecting and talking about what is going on in my thoughts. …yet I am wanting you to do the very thing I am not doing ….derrrr!

Actually – that’s not quite true….I am revealing myself through google plus and facebook and my book, I’m just not sure that my family, friends, work colleagues etc see my posts, so it IS a kind of ‘secret garden’

Then again …… I do try to tell my family and friends as to what is going on, they either do not listen or they switch off from me.

You know…I don’t believe that I am so ‘abnormal’ …I actually think this is normal behaviour!

And……there is nothing wrong in figuring it all out.

Are we saying that we have been taught to act in this way ?

For myself personally I cannot ignore a person’s feelings.

I want to listen, I want to respond in the way that suits them best. I CARE.

........ it is definitely time for change!

Photo shopped Grief

Just reflecting on some of my posts and they do seem to be ‘all over the place’

No neat bullet points with a set progression

Nobody ever responds…I wonder why that really is ? Of course those who don’t understand will say something ‘stupid’ and those who do , well…maybe they are too frightened to admit to their feelings? Posting on google is TOO open and when you are in that bottomless pit, it is too scary to talk about it.

It is, or can be a kind of denial, that you are hurting.

Let’s face it grievers( hope you don’t mind me calling you that)……….but most people do not understand, and they will often say the most stupid things to you!

Please please can you share with me some of the craziest things people have said to you?!

For me it was, “I suppose you get everything you want now”

Erm, how do you respond to that? Well actually I wanted my loved ones to live!! You bonehead!

Here’s one that might make you laugh a little. I wasn’t married for long, the dream love of my life, turned out to be a crazy control freak who threatened me to the point I left for my safety.

Do you know ? ……This equates to a traumatic loss, yet the most sympathy I ever got was, ‘you should have left him sooner, you’ll be alright now’

That ! is like saying to a widow, pity he hadn’t died sooner, you would be over grief by now!

Family were the worst! …………..I got ‘What are you crying for ?’………….Der!

I didn’t know the Universal Laws from Dr Demartini back then, I know them now and oh boy…it can make such a big difference in your life. Actually it is more than a big difference it is a quantum difference.

http://amzn.to/1p8i2Pe

You can’t Photoshop grief, you can’t make it fit straight lines or just be circles. Greif is a flow of emotion that has to be experienced for what it is!

If my post fluctuate…I’m pretty sure that your loss, has been experiencing similar?

Grief and its vibration level

Grief and its vibration level - Just so you feel better!(Your thoughts not mine - :))

I came into life at the bottom rung - I am now trying to work my way back up! With fun and laughter and an abundance experience and joy, for which I am grateful.

Please don’t ask me why it happened to You – it happened to me  - I was nine! Never knew I asked for it!

It is Friday!

I am so grateful to be here, in my being with the ability to talk to you. I feel the awesomeness of that.

Can you feel it too? Can you feel the awesomeness of being alive?

At times when we go through grief, we can’t always see the awesomeness and sometimes we can find we have learnt a pattern that repeats.

I describe the pattern in my book http://amzn.to/1p8i2Pe  and that pattern can cost you dearly.

In the largest sense it actually costs you the JOY of LIVING because you spend time wishing on something that is actually a fantasy.

What if - scenarios!

What if - they were here?  What if I could speak to them now? I wouldn’t feel like this

I would be happy, I would be happier!

What we don’t see, is that whilst these feelings appear to be validating our loss, they actual give rise to more loss!! The Universe simply reacts to our thoughts.

The message you are giving out is that you want to ponder on ‘woulds’ and ‘coulds’ and in this frame of mind we ARE actually lacking.

We are not in the here and now appreciating the abundance that is part of our nature and inheritance.

Think about it…if you are suffering grief….how many of your family and friends are trying to tell you to ‘Get on with life’!

You know what? They are giving you great advice, YET, if you are anything like me, and I hope you are not!

I think ‘What the hell do you know?

You don’t know this pain of grief’

I wouldn’t wish it on you!

It is painful

It is excruciating!

Don’t you know how grief feels? Don’t you know how it rips your heart out?!

Don’t you know that you want to die from it! That death is preferable than life?

Don’t you know that?

Well if you DO! Then shut the f@ck! Up!

Mmmm…you get the picture…that anger is intense

The thoughts and feeling are vivid and strong

And ….before we had the understanding of Lynn Hope Thomas, we had Elizabeth Kubler Ross and her magnificent support for grief stricken people.

She was great! She gave the World something they never had before, an insight into the stages of grief. I am the first to say that when I read her book, I felt so validated with my grief, it was like drinking honey, I was grateful.

YET, what have we done? We have listened to her stages and believed them! Yes we have believed them and not sought to move from outside the box!

Oh oh ! We have not moved!

Nature wants us to move. We move to stay green and survive, if we stagnate, we die!

I want to see more movement with grief because not every culture suffers from grief – did you know that?

Do you know that it is learnt and a culture? Yes not all people around the world grieve upon death of a loved one? In China they employ a stripper to cheer the family up! Imagine that.

I will talk about that some more another time

For now, “How we think about our loss and grief and what we say with regard to our feelings is so important in what happens next” ….please stay tuned in……….

I am grateful for you listening….and want to bring more Joy to your lives….I want you to be part of my journey because we will have the greatest joy through what we learnt with our loss.

Thank yourself for your loss –“ I am thankful for my loss, I am thankful that I gave away my greatest love to discover my greatest love, there is nothing more powerful than that!”

God Bless You

God Bless those who give their lives

God Bless those who love those who give their lives

Please join me for my next blog..

I love you and want the best for you!

Lynn  Check out 'Breaking Through Loss' on 

http://amzn.to/1p8i2Pe

#Grief #Loss #Vibrational #Love #Joy

Come what MAY!’ –Love from Moulin Rouge

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5p56hEK-1A

……………………….A beautiful rendition for any lost loved ones.

Cry….cry ….cry and heal your broken heart http://amzn.to/1p8i2Pe

Buckets of love and tears from Lynn Hope Thomas  - Author of Breaking Through Loss 

Bring back joy to your life - Death and Universal Laws

A tree will shed it’s fruit, lose a branch, undergo pruning and so it is the same in human life. We lose our children, we lose part of ourselves, family members leave us, and we can experience climate change, lack of water, extreme drought, change of environment.

It’s not what happens that matters, it is how we react and conduct ourselves.

For some cultures a period of mourning is long in duration, for others it is short and for some it is a celebration of life. Not one option suits all.

I now know, the choice I will make, is that of celebration.

Yes grief hurts and is painful, and will always be! Though now having learnt the fastest way to process it, I KNOW that I don’t have to feel the pain in the same way EVER again.

THAT feels great…as I know the other side and I don’t want you to feel it, suffer it unnecessarily.

The principle involved is the following ‘Nothing is ever missing’ only in the human perception.

You can read more in ‘Breaking Through Loss’ available on Amazon http://amzn.to/1Aq25ed

#Grief #Loss #Love #Life #Breakingthroughloss

Hugh Grant - We don't die Actually!

What are the benefits of loss?

I can hear you say there aren’t any.         Yes there are!

You think that you are missing your loved one and life is not worth living, you think it sucks!

You might, if you were like me, have felt you wanted to die!

Give up! At least die and go to heaven – you know ………….that place where God hangs out and everything is hunky dory!

What a fantasy that is!

Get real and listen to the truth, why don’t you.

YOU have the rest of your LIFE to LIVE so who does it serve feeling this down, depressed and shit?? 

Well funny, because the answer is …..

IT SERVES YOU!!!  Mmmmmm!

We are so full of our own EGO that we grieve and cry and moan and act like big babies because our loved one has died!

BOOHOO!!

Our loved one has physically passed yet they energetically are still in the universe. Ask yourself the question - if YOU died, would you WANT your loved one TO GRIEVE and cry over you? What purpose does that serve? Well none actually!

Just because you don’t understand how the universe works, you are going to make your life and everyone else’s SAD? If you KNEW that when you die you DON’T DIE actually, what a stupid thing it is for people to get all sad over you.

If you could for one minute get PRESENT you might just find that you can still COMMUNICATE with your loved one. How amazing would that be for you?

Mmmmm…you think it’s not possible? Well actually

‘We don’t die actually’

If you want to know more then read ‘Breaking Through Loss’ available on Amazon http://amzn.to/1p8i2Pe 

#Grief #Loss #HughGrant #Death #Love

Darling Buds of May - No Loss

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer's lease hath all too short a date; Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often is his gold complexion dimm'd; And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd; But thy eternal summer shall not fade, Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st; Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade, When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st: So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee. Nothing is ever missing and this beautiful poetry by William Shakespeare pretty much sums up how lovely life , and loved ones are. ‘It takes a beautiful Summer’s Day amongst the darling buds of May to recall my love, ‘my love’ …and my love.’ Lynn Hope Thomas Author of ‘Breaking Through Loss’ - http://amzn.to/1cQLW6n

Love and Loss hurts!

“My anger rages out like a lion’s roar!

How dare this happen!

Every part of me is ready to rip down the façade called love!

Love? Love? You call this love?

Go into the darkness…go into the darkness

Naked and bare ….my legs are weak….my feet are cold

Go into the darkness…go into the darkness!

Aren’t you there to love me? Why Why? WHY!

I scream! A cry! …I scream for ice-cream!!

I want sugar not bitter, not sharp, not cold not frozen!

Give me fur, give me comfort give me a connection…something to hold onto

Something to relieve the pain of love”

Lynn Hope Thomas

Author of ‘Breaking Through Loss’

http://amzn.to/1p8i2Pe

Grief – Is but a wakeup call to live life to the max!

You DO have a CHOICE on your emotions

The easiest thing to do is to wallow in grief. 

Yes it hurts, yes it can be very painful, yes you feel like dying too…I KNOW how it feels…I know how it catapults you to another plane, and forty years on I am now beginning to pick up the pieces having learnt that I never had to walk the path I did!

Don’t get me wrong, I have no regrets on my life, I do believe that it was destined to be my path, I DO believe that I can provide evidence of how; if grief is left hidden within your heart and mind, and left unexpressed then it can cause repeats, and it can keep coming back until it overwhelms you.

If you are suffering from grief and are hiding away, putting on a brave face then please don’t !

·         Read my book about it as a starter :

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Breaking-Through-Loss-Powerful-Scientific/dp/1452507929

·         Start living your life again – get out and do things!

·         Begin talking about your blessings to others

Loss & Grief- So did you get something out of it ?

Last weekend whilst others sent time with family and friends relaxing I spent my weekend at the London Breakthrough Experience with Dr J F Demartini, working long days 7.30 am until 2.00am and then 9.00am until 9.00pm. 

At the end of it someone asked me the question 'So did you get something out of it ?'

I couldn't comprehend the question at first, it seemed a crazy question! Of course I got something out of it and I continue daily to get something out of it......................

Yes loss can be the most difficult experience that one has to face, I have not forgotten how I felt on being told that my twin sisters had passed at the tender age of nine, I recall the numerous losses I have since repeated in an attempt to awaken my soul to the reality that 'One does get something out of it '

How can this be so ? I can understand the anger and outrage from those who do not know the truth about loss and grief, however the truth is this :

Nothing is ever missing. Grief is created by loving only one side of a person and not loving ALL of them. How can you love a person if you are only prepared to think of all the 'good' things and not balance that out by also accepting all the 'bad' things too.

Our human minds are clever at ignoring the truth, preferring to rest in falsehood that has been created for the masses.

Fortunately I found that the Breakthrough Experience allowed me to wake up to the truth of loss  and since then the answer is that I gained as much from the loss of my twin sisters as I lost.

There is a beauty to it …….I have learnt to how to navigate my emotions so that I don't stay in the down for long.

 I can now use what I have learnt to ensure that no-one fills my mind with negative thoughts. I was able to put the teachings into practice and when the time came  I was able to see the loss of my gorgeous dog through a different perspective and not suffer from grief.

I wrote a book about the Breakthrough Experience - I wanted to share with those suffering that when they look for hope , they can find Lynn Hope Thomas, and I will show them that Hope will be a thing of the past.

Hope is not a requirement anymore. I don't NEED hope any more. I have CERTAINTY, I KNOW that key to overcoming loss and grief and I share my experience in the book.

The book is written to assist in what may seem impossible, if you can see what holding onto grief did to me, you will have NO DOUBT of what I am saying. I am so grateful to my sisters.

So YES is the answer to the gentleman  - I DID get something out of it, I got my life and I LOVE my life!

If you want , need, are desperate to find a way through loss and grief then read the following : -

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Breaking-Through-Loss-Powerful-Scientific/dp/1452507929

#Grief #Loss #Breakingthroughloss #