For Laura and anyone grieving loss of babies

Tonite I write about Laura, three years on she is grieving the loss of her twin babies. She exhibits what are understandably the signs of loss and grief. Many of her friends cannot truly relate as they are not in the state of grief.

Grief lasts longer than sympathy and friend’s patience wears out, only adding to the loss of a griever.

How many more years will she choose to go through the grief? I have already given her my book ‘breaking through loss’ the one book dedicated to helping others understand that grief is truly a choice – you can chose to transcend it by working through it with a trained Demartini Method facilitator.

Strangely though that is not a choice for her.

That brings me back to the point that people will only chose change when the pain is strong enough to warrant that.

What does that mean? It means that for Laura, the pain of her baby’s deaths is serving her in some way, the pain is not that great. When it becomes great – only then will she seek to change things.

It is not easy to understand is it? Why one would chose the pain of loss over the prospect of change?

Well yes…change is painful too.

The loss of two babies is more preferable pain than that of change.

That is quite challenging as a statement – don’t you think?

Okay so think about this…so Laura continues in her grief……there is no defined period that one suffers grief. It could go on for say five years, who determines how long it goes on for?

The strength of Laura’s emotion is about how much she loved her babies, how much her dreams of a future were dashed. At three years on she is imagining the life she should have had, would have had, if they had lived.

In effect she is living in a fantasy/delusion. It is one we can break and get her to reality. Yet she chooses grief over reality.

I have given her my book, I wrote it to help people suffering grief, I thought that if they read my story they would see that I COULD HELP them.

Truth is they don’t see that!!! That is so upsetting for me. I need to know why, why do they not want to read my book that will help them?

Can you help me to understand?