Elizabeth Kubler Ross - No grief guru at all!

What five stage grief process!

Heres is my 5 point insight into Elizabeth Kubler Ross's work :

1. EKR studied the dying and not those bereaved
2. Her points of view lacked the new methods open to us
3. EKR was a pioneer for understanding loss of your own life
4. Personal Grief arises through loss of your own infatuations
5. EKR was a pioneer for linking loss of self and grief of others together

For all the above and Elizabeth Kubler Ross  I am grateful and blessed. Here is an excerpt from my book 'Breaking Through Loss'Page 64  : 

'My Mother bless her, gave me a book on the stages of grief and this at least helped me to feel that I was a normal person and that these strong emotions and feelings were okay. At last, someone recognized and could explain with some accuracy what I was experiencing. The book was written by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.'

God Bless you!

Lynn

#Grief #Loss #ElizabethKublerRoss #Lynnhopethomas #Breakingthroughloss #Celebrityloss 

Coping Skills ?

My experience of loss and the journey I am on will be different to many others. We all experience loss and grief  - it is a fact of life.

 I was a child who experienced traumatic loss and that loss was unknowingly kept buried in my physical body. I didn’t suffer grief for prolonged periods, I got on with life and to the outside world I was fine.I never realised for forty years that I had not successfully processed the grief.

When people talk about Loss and grief and what that journey is, I will listen to those who have suffered similar to me, and not to those who say..for example have lost a parent in a normal natural life event.

They are two very different scenarios, granted I have yet to lose a parent, though I have lost grandparents and suffered no grief at all. That’s not to say I didn’t love my grandparents, I did, very much so. Again I am not saying that losing a grandparent involves no grief and loss, as for some that might be traumatic to them. It depends on the strength of connectedness to the grandparent.

I believe that anyone who has experienced loss and grief and deep emotions around it, would never minimise another’s grief. For those who suffer a traumatic loss, the range of emotions is quite profound.

This brings me on to the point I want to make.

Will the ones who haven’t suffered grief let alone loss, keep their opinions to themselves.! I mean what makes them so opinionated! Their opportunity to learn is just around the corner.

I don’t want telling that loss and grief is about lack of ‘coping skills’…..I have heard this a few times!

That is like telling someone who has just had their leg blown off and the subsequent emotions that follow, are due to a lack of coping skills. Not a welcome comment!

Some of my best coping skills was to dance and undertake physical exercise and challenges. It was as if by spinning the body, healing could take place. I focussed on my gymnastics and grew my physical strength. These days I dance.

Loss can drive incredible energy to succeed and survive- It comes as no surprise to me that there is now an Olympic team of refugees –. These athletes exemplify the heights of the pain and suffering they have endured and how it is possible to overcome the challenges.

Coping skills?  Yes we have them!

And it took grief and loss to find them!

Go Refugee Olympians 2016

Shine bright like the diamonds you are!

https://www.rio2016.com/en/videos

Grief to Relief: Traumatic Loss - is it inherited ?

Grief to Relief: Traumatic Loss - is it inherited ?: I love the journey of discovery that has stemmed from the loss of my twin sisters. Each year pieces of the puzzle are opened up and I lear...

Traumatic Loss - is it inherited ?

I love the journey of discovery that has stemmed from the loss of my twin sisters. Each year pieces of the puzzle are opened up and I learn more. Having written my personal story called Breaking Through Loss, I found a wonderful method that can heal loss and prevent the repeats that can happen if loss is buried and not brought into the light.

Now after reading this article below, I am in no doubt that we can inherit buried emotion from our grandparents and great grandparents, as well as pass on further trauma to future generations.

Unresolved trauma passes through the genes.So your offspring can expect to be presented with similar trauma in an attempt to learn how to break the pattern and shine light on the situation.

Breaking Though Loss shows you how to prevent repeated losses in the most effective and efficient way.

If you have had family who have died, for example in wars, through cancers and illnesses, chances are there are repeating events happening in your life too.

You can peruse my story on Amazon at http://amzn.to/1p8i2Pe

I also recommend reading this article in which it explains how Rachel Yehuda, professor of psychiatry and neuroscience at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York has discovered that people with Post Traumatic Stress,have lower cortisol levels in their blood and this is passed onto offspring, thereby proving that trauma is inherited if untreated.

https://www.scienceandnonduality.com/an-excerpt-from-it-didnt-start-with-you-how-inherited-family-trauma-shapes-who-we-are-and-how-to-end-the-cycle-viking-april-2016-by-mark-wolynn/


If you have any questions I am a trained Demartini Method consultant and an expert in loss and grief and any form of change. I would love to answer your questions.

#Grief #Loss #Epigenetics #unresolved grief #stoprepeatingloss #breakingsthrough loss #lynnhopethomas

Not running from myself no more - Grief ends here!

I have taken a long journey through grief. Don’t get me wrong I have had a great life filled with many happy events, I’ve done more than many.Yet the undercurrent has always been the grief of losing my twin sisters. I cannot ever forget the days when their loss happened and the sheer shock of what that meant to me.

Not everyone has this experience and even if they do, not everyone experiences it like I did. Let’s face it some people are happy if someone leaves their life! If we hate someone and we have pain from them, then we are happy they leave!

Difficulty comes when we ‘love’ them and then we feel a lot of emotional pain. That is what happened to me. I loved my sisters so much…so very much.

Yet little did I understand how much my love was a very one-sided experience. In fact I wasn’t truly loving them for who they were and I wasn’t loving myself for who I was!

Even as I write, I feel emotional, I recall just how much I perceived I loved them, and that loss hurt me like a thousand knives!

I will never forget that feeling and I am very grateful for it.

Since then I have learnt how to balance out that traumatic emotion and bring to a most respectable feeling of love and balance.

I can help you do the same. Yes it is not a straight forward process but is a process and it is fairly quick.

It is quicker than most so called therapy – so please do not get bogged down in grief.

I could be that option for you that allows you to begin living truly to yourself!

I’ve experienced a lot of loss and now I am comfortable with all that loss. If you would like to talk to me then please make a connection my connection email is lynn950@gmail.com

Heading Home

That picture is so special to me. That dog is so special to me. That morning, that sunlight that moon are special to me.The path is so special to me. To think that the farmer laid that  - it's actually made of concrete slabs. Its for the farm animals - it makes it easier for them to walk, it stops the ground from getting really muddy and soggy. We have had so many flooded areas , the ground is very sodden, and this field with its road is perfect for walking the dog - lol! I love this farmer! I love this dog, I love my village...and I love the morning prayers, very grateful for the time I have to do this. Check out your own areas of special, what are they ? Think about them, what things do you love dearly ? What things in life are you grateful for ?

My gravity!

Feb Post

January was full of hope as a new year started and I was going great guns with my planning. Really high on my agenda was some Master Planning for the year ahead. Needing to balance my life and ensure that I devote ample time to each of the key seven areas of life.

I believe that you can do what you love and earn ample to enjoy the life you want if you can be disciplined enough to not only allow yourself to dream but to take action, take steps and move along that path.

I have succeeded in writing a book which seemed like a mountain to climb at the start, but eventually it came to fruition and it was all from following the simple steps of trusting myself, believing in the dream, and working on it.

Of course I had people assist me along the way. I trusted that the universe would send me what and who I needed.

I would love to write this blog and sound like a sophisticated guru who knows the 'answer', the truth is I don't, I don't know it any more than anyone else. What I do know is that I have experienced some profound things and I have searched for over four decades to find answers.

Due to the nature of my 'life' challenge I learnt from a young age to keep silent. For those who don't know I lost both of my sisters when I was nine years old, back in the days when there was not much understanding about loss and grief.

The silence taught me many things and it also was responsible for bringing about many repeats of loss and changes in my life that would see me encounter many difficult challenges.

I wonder…do you know how it feels to have so much emotional stuff trapped inside you, with no outlet ? You see for me, I have been quiet for so much of my life. I feel sure that my life's mission is to teach young children what I have learnt.

Have you seen the movie 'Gravity' with Sandra Bullock ?  Stranded in space, with many difficult problems to solve, she almost loses the will to live, having suffered the loss of her son, just as she is about to give up….George Clooney's ghost appears and says something like ' Yeah….it's pretty good out here….it's safe here in space……easier than the challenges of life on earth…' Well something struck me like a bolt! The scene mirrored where I was at ……you see the silence seems like a security blanket however in essence it is holding me back from being my full blown self.

Being silent is like being out alone in space….please excuse I can feel myself welling with emotion. I am so scared to do, say something and be rejected, laughed at or scorned. When you feel intense emotional pain, you kind of want to hide away from anyone adding more hurt to it…you hope that in time it will heal and feel less painful…the truth is that by hiding you keep it raw.

I am not going to do it anymore. I have decided not to be such a big sop. I don't want to be stranded in space anymore.

I want to live my life in a fantastic and fulfilling way. I want to enjoy sharing with other people and helping them to overcome their fears and help them appreciate who they are, as much as who I am. To teach my daughter how to love herself through my example would be so beautiful.

She asked me the other day 'Mummy ..what would you say is the most important thing in life ?' Woah what a deep question!

I said 'to live your most authentic self'

I asked her what she thought it was and then …she blew me away………………

'Love……….I think love is the most important thing'

Boom! That's my gravity!

#Grief #Loss #Love #Life

Communication Deficit - resulting from loss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfihYWRWRTQ

#Grief #Loss #Communication #Love #Life #Breakingthroughloss #Lynnhopethomas

Top Five Alternative Grief Lessons

Welcome to what is the most amazing journey you will ever encounter. As bad as you might feel, simply know that you will rise again, you will feel whole again and the pain will go.

Grief definition: the freezing of emotions inside the body until human spirit is ready to 'face' feeling these emotions of sadness, despair, relief - did I say relief?

Grief is the most amazing pack of emotions one can ever experience! And for every individual, it is an individual experience!

Here are a few quick lessons and anchor points: -

Lesson 1

There is no requirement to overcome grief. Grief is a personal and individual experience. If you want to stay in grief you can. If you want to transcend it, you can. And can you can!

Lesson 2

Grief can be extremely challenging! Simply know that there are others out there who can help you, others who have experienced this intensity. There is support out there. I am offering support!

Lesson 3

Help is available and you have the option to seek that help. There is no shame in seeking help. Think of it as requiring a grief teacher, to teach you how to navigate grief.

Lesson 4

There is a positive side to grief. It is not all gloom and depression! In fact it can spur your biggest growth!

Lesson 5

Unresolved grief can affect your financial income and future retirement. Any money spent on overcoming grief will be recouped tenfold over your lifetime.

Recommended read http://amzn.to/1p8i2Pe

#Grief #Loss #Lessonsongrief # Breakingthroughloss #Lynnhopethomas

Christmas Tree Of Life - Seasons Of Loss

Each Christmas as I unpack the tree and begin to unbox the decorations I pass through a ritual of remembrance which is always very special to me, and to my daughter too.

It is with pleasure that we relive the life of each bauble ‘Remember this one Mummy ?...we bought this at Disney….ah look my favourite set…….I love these ones!’

I’m pretty sure many a family do the same thing as us.

For me the tree ritual was made all the more memorable when my Mum’s friend lost her life on my birthday…which falls the week before Christmas. I recall dressing the tree with my Mum, and feeling the presence of Adrienne and the significance of being able to dress the tree with my family……… our love for family and friends and fellow man entwined in the process.

For me the Christmas tree represents the tree of Life…the fact that no matter what comes and goes that life will continue on and on. Each bauble represents a life, a light that has made the tree more beautiful than ever. A light which glows as a reminder of the joy of life.

When we lose loved ones, we can ask ourselves the question ‘Would they want to see me sad and weepy ?’  Of course the answer is no! ‘Would they want me to be miserable and depressed?’ Of course the answer is no!

After Christmas the tree is taken down and the baubles laid to rest for another year and so it is with grief….we bring it out of the box…we feel emotions around it and then we lay it to rest for another season. Given time the baubles that once held a sad memory are replaced with fond memories of what has been and with a gratitude for the present day and how it has shaped out lives.

It is all part of the tree of life….and Christmas is one season out of four that we are given opportunity to review our feeling, thoughts and emotions.

What may seem too painful for some….. as Christmas contrasts a lot of happy emotions against those who are suffering. Think about the key questions about what your loved one would wish for you. Dwell on that loving feeling, yet don’t push sadness away because it is part of releasing the grief. After so long

Last week as I drove up the motorway…I was tuned in to some classical music which took me to some rarely visited memories, memories of what was, how life used to be before the painful loss and I allowed myself to feel sad and cry. This act actually felt really good….inside my heart and outside….mmmm….I was letting it go!

I’m not sure whether ‘control freaks’ suffer loss as a means to let go, or whether grief makes you a control freak, afraid to let go – please feel free to add your own comments

As a final note:

Remember that the tree of life always involves a Spring pruning, a Summer flowering, an Autumn shed and a Winter sparkle.

Wishing you to sparkle this Christmas and with hope guiding you to know that loss and grief can heal

Wishing you Peace this Christmastime

Lynn

#Grief #Loss #Christmas #Tree of Life #Lynnhopethomas #Lossrepeats

Take a Christmas Holiday on Grief!

Mmm, It’s getting close to Christmas and for many that will be a time they remember their lost ones and feel somewhat saddened that they are not there with them over what should be a loving and blissful time of the year….well that is if you celebrate Christmas as a Christian. I guess other religious denominations may also be caught up with everyone around them being joyous and so they feel sad too at this time of year.

I want to be sensitive to those who are experiencing grief, yet at the same time I need to be firm with you as you do not have to feel the grief! That’s right…you do not have to feel the grief of the loss of your loved one. That does not mean that you disregard them, or that you ignore the loss you have suffered, it simply means that there IS a process, which CAN relieve the grief and allow you to feel a sense of well-being, gratitude and allow you to feel close to your loved one.

The process is a method I have experienced and have seen countless other people experience with amazing results. I was so amazed that I wrote a book called ‘Breaking Through Loss’  http://amzn.to/1p8i2Pe because I had an incredible realisation that I had allowed loss and grief and was still allowing loss and grief to affect my life…and to affect it for forty years !! I can’t bear thinking that I did that, as life is short and meant to be lived to the full enjoyment of the gift that God has given us.

Oh how can I get the message across to you so that you do not have to suffer your emotional pain?

 For some people they do not experience grief to the same extent – have you ever wondered why not? I always thought that they must not have loved the person, because when you do not love someone you don’t cry and grieve over them do you?

I witnessed a father lose his son and he was calm and centered

and I simply could not understand why he was not experiencing extreme grief – not that I wished that upon him, because I know only too well, what it is like to suffer a BIG loss and then for it to repeat two weeks later!! It is pretty much close to hell but not as close to hell as some get.

Here are a few insights that I have learnt:

·         Grief is a one-sided emotion in your perception….yes it feels very real and hurts

·         It is an addiction to the traits you loved about a person, and is similar to a drug addict having their drug taken away.

·         Grief  thrives off fantasies and delusions

Grief can be balanced once we dissolve the fantasies and delusions, and weigh in the ignored perceptions you had about the person.

Once dissolved grief opens the heart centre to LOVE and at that point you can experience relief and joy.

Please read my book to understand more, I wrote it as a guide for people because believing someone say that grief can be dissolved is unusual and easily dismissed however when you can weigh up the facts and the scientific evidence then maybe ….just maybe this Christmas you can have your heart and joy back allowing it to beat with LOVE

 http://amzn.to/1p8i2Pe

Thank You For protecting my life

For all brave soldiers
“Remember them ……………brave  bold and bright

………….as the Poppy fields bloom in full red flight

Deep with colour their love flows strong

Each head raised up in perfect song

In the wind blowing all floral flags are raised

Not one not two but thousands are praised

We braved our loved ones to champion the fight

So all our land could sleep safe at night

Yet now we grieve those beautiful souls, indeed ‘twas their choice to defend

And ours now  is to rise above loss, allowing our hearts to mend”

Poem by Lynn Hope Thomas

There cannot be a family out there unaffected in some way from the loss of a loved one.

'Celebrate' does seem an odd word when mixed with loss, though in celebrating we can honor the bravery and the lives lost in order to save the rest of us.

It give a much greater chance to help all the survivors of war. Whether a soldier, a father, a brother, a husband, partner , mother, daughter, it is by allowing the remembrance of what took place, we allow an opportunity for those who may have buried emotion, to recall some of the mixed and powerful emotions and allow them rise up once again and be felt.

Every person experiences loss and grief differently, no two people are the same. Some can process it with or without help and some appear to be managing it but hidden symptoms can show up as anger, depression, alcoholism and other unhealthy distractions.

Buried emotion can go deeper than a trench, like a grand canyon. At times a person may not even be conscious that grief is affecting their life. For example children have a natural protection mechanism whereby they can appear unaffected by incidents, only to find that later in life they need to process the unresolved grief.

As a child I’ve always had a fascination for war and death. My Nana, recounted many stories from WW1 of fallen family, wounded soldiers and trips to the air raid shelters. I would listen intent on every word, and by every word, I felt as though I had experienced the war for myself. I knew what I would do, how I would react, in fact I knew how I would feel. Nana shared with me postcards that family soldiers had embroidered for the family – secretly it broke my heart to read their messages of how they missed home and family.

Never did I know that one day I would know firsthand how tragic loss can wreak havoc in families.

It is not just sympathy I have for anyone suffering from loss at this Remembrance Day but true empathy. I know the hurt, the pain, the lost dreams, and the incredible impact that loss can have on any one life.

It would be wrong to say that the pain is constant and remains forever, that is not true. The pain slowly dissipates over time and sometimes it falls into a slumber, only to be awakened by a raging furnace of emotion that can be so totally destructive.

Well, for me it was like that, you see I buried the emotion, as a child I didn’t speak about it, I thought I was doing a good job of being a brave little girl when it was hurting, and then when the pain was in slumber I played and laughed and had a great time, so why would I know that I had a problem ? I didn’t - I was loving life and making the most of it.

So you see…experts can guide you as to what to do, but if you are in that period of slumber, nothing is going to be ‘needed’. Experts can offer loads of stuff and still you won’t ‘need’ any of it!

So why am I writing this? Okay, partially it is to help myself, I guess that in some respects it allows me the chance to express how I felt after loss, you see……elements are always there. Though I must say I have had a big shift in my loss and grief, a chance, an opportunity to see that most of what I have lived and survived through was totally unnecessary!

Believe it - well you WILL find it difficult to!!

DON’T let that stop you from reading on. If you are looking to find a recovery from the pain of grief, if you are interested in how unresolved loss and grief and affect your life, how it can stop you from living a full blown wonderful, beautiful and blossomed life then read on!

If you are a doubter, prefer to bury your head in the sand then don’t read on, but at least open your mind to the possibility that when you ignore the messages from the universe to balance out your perception to loss – then the Universe kicks back harder and harder until you are ready to listen. If that happens to you, then remember my blog, remember that I have empathy, I know the pain and that my mission is to help you find relief from that.

Yes…I finally discovered that after forty years of cycling through pain, tears, grief, not to mention failed relationships and all the scenarios recreated to allow me to feel loss…I finally found a tool to allow me to overcome that pain.

My blog now has a purpose which is to reach out to as many people as I can; people who have suffered from loss and grief.

Poppies turns to Roses

“I AM – the flower of love……

I DON’T SEE : Race, religion, color, weight, school, country, politics, job role, clothes, diet, fans, celebrities, cars, material wealth….

I SEE people, family, community, togetherness, negotiation, resolution, overcoming storms and battles towards peace, weapons falling , hearts opening, sharing, feeding, nurturing and love.

Never underestimate a poppy! Grateful and Blessed

Okay – I could blog for the sake of blogging but that isn’t me. I blog when I have something important to share.

Last week was my twin sisters birthday 18^th October  - I didn’t blog, that was personal stuff.

I wrote ‘Breaking Through Loss’ to help others with grief. I shared a lot of personal stuff in that book,the aim was to help others…and so it is with my blog. A desire and aim to help and support other grievers NOT a forum to advertise my life and everything that is happening in it.

Now we have that out of the way, I would like to say a big thanks for coming into my site and spending time reading my blogs.

Please do feedback to me on your own thoughts.

Tonites blog is about an experience this week that stopped me in my tracks!

At work I travel for an hour and half mainly by train, then I enter the ‘work’ building. You know the one, the one where you treat everyone as a ‘work being’ – we have relationships to do work but in terms of genuine wholesome fulfilling relationships I think most are quite shallow.

As I walk in to the lift that takes me up to the second floor ( yes I could do the stairs)

Instead I get into the lift,packed with people. I see a co-worker with a poppy pinned to his chest, and I make the comment about how sweet his poppy looks. My intentions are genuine and heartfelt. I love the poppy as a flower and I love the meaning of the poppy and I love what it represents. Of course he does not know this about me.

Then….he responds…….wait a moment - I cannot give you a good description of his reply.

It was matter of fact but packed with a punch as powerful as a bomb!

His response was this :

‘ Oh yeh, the poppy. Well I was in church, and I saw a friend, I said to him ‘ Ah…are you back home for your daughter’s birthday ?  - and he said to me ‘No!’ – I came back with a body in a coffin’………….

 or words to that effect.

My God, those words ricochet even now. He totally dropped a bomb, he stopped me in my tracks, he made me value every poppy ever made, I instantly knew of the sacrifice that brave men had made for MY benefit!

I love the man who died, who gave his life for me, I love his family and his friends.

I won’t ever let the sight of a poppy stop me from thinking or feeling my true essence

Grateful and blessed

Rough Week for October

We all know this one!

So be kind to each other
Be kind to yourself

Embrace yourself by putting your arms around yourself in a hug!

Then say ' I love you my darling, you have worked hard and deserve a treat!'

A treat is coming

You are loved


Then tell me in full what traits and actions you want to receive in your life

The more specific you can be then the more likely you are to attract it!



Love Lynn

October - Shake it off!

How are you peeps ? Firstly my friend Max lost his sister this week and I leave it to Max to navigate the grief. Whilst there is I am absolutely 100% certain I can relieve his emotions around the grief using my skills with the Demartini Method, it is not in his interests to push my values onto him nor would it work. Only when a person is ready to shake it off, will they consider seeking help.

I guess then depending on who you speak to and their experience, your best chance is to run an internet search for support, or visit your Doctor, who probably could prescribe anti-depressants to suggest you speak to a psychologist to help talk about your grief.Think carefully about this route ...mmm.

I say 'Shake it Off'!

And you can, I can assist you with an amazing method of questioning that when applied in a persistent manner, and managed correctly by a skilled and trained facilitator. You will be able to 'Shake it Off!'  - You will be able to alleviate the painful emotions of grief and replace them with heartfelt love for your lost one. Whether that is a parent, a sibling a child or partner, or a dear friend or family member.

You regain the pzazz for life that your loved one wants for you.

After all, do you really think they want to see you living in a sad, depressed and minimized way ? Especially when they have moved their spirit into full blown high energy and are having a ball themselves.

I can take you through why grief occurs, and what it means and how to redress those symptoms and replace them with love and warmth that means you can once again live life and feel like you ARE living , instead of feeling down and depressed. Come on! Shake it off!

Contact me if you would like to know more or read my book to understand more of what I am talking about and more about the changes that you can experience. http://amzn.to/1p8i2Pe

#Grief #Life #Love #Shakeitoff #Breakingthroughloss

For Laura and anyone grieving loss of babies

Tonite I write about Laura, three years on she is grieving the loss of her twin babies. She exhibits what are understandably the signs of loss and grief. Many of her friends cannot truly relate as they are not in the state of grief.

Grief lasts longer than sympathy and friend’s patience wears out, only adding to the loss of a griever.

How many more years will she choose to go through the grief? I have already given her my book ‘breaking through loss’ the one book dedicated to helping others understand that grief is truly a choice – you can chose to transcend it by working through it with a trained Demartini Method facilitator.

Strangely though that is not a choice for her.

That brings me back to the point that people will only chose change when the pain is strong enough to warrant that.

What does that mean? It means that for Laura, the pain of her baby’s deaths is serving her in some way, the pain is not that great. When it becomes great – only then will she seek to change things.

It is not easy to understand is it? Why one would chose the pain of loss over the prospect of change?

Well yes…change is painful too.

The loss of two babies is more preferable pain than that of change.

That is quite challenging as a statement – don’t you think?

Okay so think about this…so Laura continues in her grief……there is no defined period that one suffers grief. It could go on for say five years, who determines how long it goes on for?

The strength of Laura’s emotion is about how much she loved her babies, how much her dreams of a future were dashed. At three years on she is imagining the life she should have had, would have had, if they had lived.

In effect she is living in a fantasy/delusion. It is one we can break and get her to reality. Yet she chooses grief over reality.

I have given her my book, I wrote it to help people suffering grief, I thought that if they read my story they would see that I COULD HELP them.

Truth is they don’t see that!!! That is so upsetting for me. I need to know why, why do they not want to read my book that will help them?

Can you help me to understand?

Wake Up Calls – Time to appreciate your loved ones

Wow! I had a massive wakeup call towards the end of last week. Even though I am mindful of appreciating my family, one has to admit that one does get complacent, especially when a family member is irritating us.

Well, as much as I try to be the perfect loving person, I know that in reality a truly ‘loving person’ makes all the mistakes that I make.

Life and love is about likes and dislikes, ying and yang, black and white. So when God then sends a test to us – our true colours come to life!

My mother who is now in her seventies, fell and hit her head on a wall and also a concrete floor. The scene looked like something more sinister had happened and despite my confusion, listening to my Mother’s demand to get home ‘Now’! And assessing the scene, I knew I had to ensure that she received the best care.

It was a long night and even though things are not like they used to be, I was thankful that at least we have a place to go, at least as some sensible point a Doctor would look at my mother’s injuries.

During the time waiting, for which I am grateful for, I was able to show my Mother how much I loved and care for her. We were able to share funny one-liners and also listen and watch the amazing events unfold that are typical of an Accident and Emergency ward. We noted that being over the age of seventy, having suffered a head injury and still bleeding with a bump the size of a satsuma, was in fact not much of an emergency at all – preference made way for drunks, and even a young ‘Justin Bieber’ lookalike who said he had been bitten by a ‘wild animal’!  

Just for the record, we don’t really have any wild animals in England, so I am still uncertain how he got a priority over my poor Mother.

That said, I am grateful for the wait, I am grateful for the time I spent with my amazing Mother. She had suffered concussion and yet was displaying the most admiral strength and resilience you can imagine.

Then again, I have been allowed to see what many people perhaps can’t. I have been privileged to experience a great loss. You see my Mother lost her two babies, many years ago, she endured the cruellest of nature’s wrath and had to survive the ordeal. Sometimes I just can’t get my head around it – she is a tough cookie! What was also my loss too, that of my beautiful sisters, I can’t know what losing two children may feel like, I can only imagine it as a Mother. I do know what it is like to lose siblings …which was pretty awful.

Anyhow I believe that those losses explain to some degree how my Mother has toughened up on the outside. For me these are amazing lessons, I feel honoured to share these times with my Mother. I am blessed to know such an incredible woman.

I later spent some time with my father and he too was in awe of the amount of strength and poise my Mother had. She never once moaned or complained during the eight hours at the hospital, crikey it took about five hours before anyone looked at her wound or dressed it. That said I am grateful for the special time I spent caring for my Mother and that is thanks to the NHS service and the crews who work there.

Yes the whole incident was a wakeup call. Nature’s way of reminding me that time is running out, am I doing all I can to ensure I show my love and care for my family and friends?

Have I done enough to thank my Mother for all she has done, all she has been through?

I don’t want to live with any regrets. I don’t want to be left here with her passed and not have said all that I need to say to her.

One of the biggest regrets people have on loss, is not ever having their loved one that they loved them.

So please have a think about it ….imagine your loved one has passed, think about what you need and want to say to them and then find a time when you can begin telling them just how much you care.

Can you do that? I would really love to hear your own stories, please come back and tell me how you got on, and if you feel you can’t then come and tell me what is stopping you and I can see how I can help you!

I know I am not the most eloquent blogger, I do have a genuine heart and if I can help you, I will!

Thanks for reading, sending you loving energy and smiling as I picture you smiling too

I am grateful

God Bless!

Infatuation creates loss – God Bless Dr Wayne Dyer

When someone dies, their physical presence leaves what we know as planet earth. To us they have ‘died’ yet actually their spiritual presence has not gone anywhere.

Nothing is ever missing.

Grief kicks in when we have infatuations about certain traits they have and now because we can no longer experience the buzz they gave us, we actually suffer a withdrawal symptom, very much like that of a cocaine addict or an alcoholic.

As much as I know about grief, I was deeply saddened this last month to learn that Dr Wayne Dyer had passed.

I found myself suffering grief, I cried nearly every night this last week, choosing to watch some of his work – ‘The Shift’ on youtube – he actually talks about his awareness in the ‘afternoon’ of life in which spiritually he was becoming more aware of God’s presence, he had even told people that he was not afraid of dying and was prepared for the next part of the journey.

Wayne had suffered from leukemia and was happy to report that ‘John of God’ had indeed cured him and he was in remission. Reports from close family and friends say that he actually died of a heart attack.

Whatever took him, I feel took him too soon. He was only 75 and had several worthy years left in which he could spread his knowledge and love. I was deeply saddened and even now I want to cry a tear because I love this man.

In 2012 I was fortunate to be on the Holland America cruise line touring the Fijian islands along with about 500 other Hay House fans. The trip was a most magical experience, one of the most special experiences I have ever had. There was so much love on board and amongst us was – Reid Tracy, Cheryl Richardson, and Serena Dyer was with her father Dr Wayne Dyer.

I will never forget the afternoon that Wayne shared some of his life stories, how he was an orphan, how he grew up, how he traced his father to his father’s headstone, how he felt, how he forgave his father.

We cried with him as he told us that he knew the father he had always longed for and wanted recognition from, had listed his name on the tombstone.

He played some of his favourite music and the room filled with his warmth and love, he sat there in his flat cap, smiling and looking at all of us with love. I sobbed, as I felt his love healing me from all the terrible things I had ever experienced – he was lifting me.

Nothing seemed to matter anymore, we were all one, in a room, in the middle of the ocean bathing in love. How incredible and how wonderfully blessed to be experiencing this.

I cry now, in grief no less. Yet I know that grief is a sign of infatuation and as true to the Demartini method as it can be, there were many on the cruise ship who were infatuated with Dr Wayne Dyer. On our travels we learn that in direct balance to our ‘love boat’, there was big resentments on another leader or rather Captain regarding the capsizing of the Costa Concordia in the Italian waters.

Dr Wayne Dyer has dedicated his life to helping others heal from life’s challenges, he has written numerous books which guide people through the labyrinth of the spiritual world and how what we think and tell ourselves is the world we end up creating.

If you have not heard of him, then I strongly recommend that you begin to read some of his books now. Personally I find them most inspiring and wonderful reads.

In the meantime I shall explore my grief and balance out the perceptions that I something is missing, because in reality nothing is missing. Check out the photo offered by Serena Dyer on the day the family spread Wayne’s ashes in the sea in Maui. If you look closely you will see Wayne’s face.

Faith and Persistence ?

In this moment I consider my path. Having repeated what appear to be unhealthy cycles for 40 years and then having discovered stuff! Awakening my inner soul, like a 'bull at a gate' I ploughed into writing my story - I didn't write it for me! I wrote it for others, to ease their heartache! and then I see this poster, from a rather clever man! I didn't attempt to ease another's heartache in order to forget my own heartache!!! Goodness sake - I wrote it having learnt from my heartache, remembering my own and how it was transformed into love.

I have spent time,money and sacrificed to bring myself to this point, only faith and persistence can keep me on track because it is tough roller coaster!

Most people want to tell me that there is nothing that can be done about grief, it is natural, you HAVE to feel it.
Yet I KNOW that it is a choice! I KNOW that it HURTS....I UNDERSTAND that you want to stick to the feeling of grief, the sadness, the loss. I can explain all of it and guide you though it.

God give me faith and persistence, I INTEND to push through the barrier of disbelief

I WILL knock the barrier down

I WILL eventually attract several well known celebrity clients who want to experience what I know

Grief is a choice and can be overcome !! You can work through the saddest and most difficult loss and achieve a feeling of peace, tranquility,love and appreciation.

Email me if you would like more information

LHT