Grief - Excuses Begone!

I am really pleased to get inspired today to talk about grief. A friend has recently lost his wife after 30 happy years together and yes it is a big loss, one which was seen coming as she battled through breast cancer. Of course the journey will have been long, challenging and painful and now the final loss. I have offered support as best I know how with the use of the Demartini Method, long before the passing.

The truth is that our culture and belief system here in the UK and probably much of the Western world honors grief like almost life a trophy.

The depth of grief can be perceived as signifying the depth of love you have for someone and this could not be further from the truth. I do not question that you ‘love’ the one you have lost however when you are in the state of perceiving grief you are not allowing your mind to balance out the emotion, the one which is causing you a lot of pain. I’ll talk about this balancing in a moment.

I just want to say too, that often those around such as family and friends can through their misperceptions keep grievers stuck in grief. Some prefer to hide behind these excuses and are simply not prepared to give something new a try. I understand, especially when one is in grief, maybe I am different, I know what my own grief was like and I would have jumped at the chance. I didn’t have that luxury back in 1972.

On average it is recognized in the medical profession that it can take one to two years for the average person to overcome loss of a partner. The reality is that under current circumstances with no realistic intervention, it takes some longer and for others they never get over it.

I would like to help in changing that, as it is a truly devastating for not only for the individual but also for their families, robbing them of joy and life unnecessarily.

Coming back to the balancing out of perceptions, this is very real and successful for those open to allowing their set beliefs and religious views to be adjusted with a new experience. After all there is more to lose and everything to gain by giving it a try.

When the balancing is undertaken, using a questioning technique that seeks out memories, there reaches a point in which the griever has a ‘aha’ moment of truth, one which can be extremely awakening to the mind and they can experience ‘love’ for the person.

It truly is something to be experienced, in a few hours one can transfer emotions from extreme agony and pain to feelings of being at peace, feeling love, honoring their loved one, feeling close to their loved one. If there is any bitterness or anger etc. this departs leaving the griever in a more energized state and inspired for life.

I wrote ‘Breaking Through Loss’ http://amzn.to/1p8i2Pe to lead people to this realization that no-one has to suffer grief. You can read that as a start, or you can respond to my google+ if you have a queries or wish to contact me.

Loss cannot be forgotten however grief IS a wound that can be healed

As many British families nurse the trauma of lost loved ones in Tunisia something our service families continually face….one lady is claiming that grief can be healed more speedily.

 “Grief for the dead is a wound that never heals. But it’s a pain that proves we are human”

Lingering grief is like a slow death, it robs people of living an inspired life, something their loved ones would have wanted, instead of painful emotions. People who face major loss such as losing a loved one in a traumatic event or in armed conflict often end up burying their emotions and never really dealing with them.

Often we hear grief stories a decade on such as  ‘A Song for Jenny’ recently shown on TV bearing witness to Julie Nicholson’s loss of her daughter in the 7/7 bombings

How much improved lives will be if we can teach people how to dissolve the emotion of grief

 We often hear people say that the pain never goes away, and that it’s like the tragic situation has only just happened

For some the grieving continues long after the loss and can last a lifetime 

I know from firsthand experience what it is to suffer grief and to have that loss completely shape your life. When I was nine years old my twin sisters aged 11 tragically died 

Fast forward four decades of repeated loss because I never dissolved the grief, I believe the experience I have had and from the fairly recent research I have done I understand how to dissolve grief

Buried grief, buries you! It can cause significant problems for people including loss of relationships, loss of businesses, financial loss and physical illness! 

There is a five step process to dissolving grief:

  

·                     Identify the specific traits you loved in the person, instead of a generalization

·                     Recognise who and where these traits are now appearing in your life

·                     Look for traits you disliked about the person, as difficult as that may seem

·                     Balancing out of the traits

·                     Be open to connecting spiritually with your loved one 

I experienced how grief is a choice and it can be overcome far more quickly than is ever believed 

 People can let go of the grief and live inspired and fulfilling lives, it doesn’t mean their loss never happened, it means they can remember them with fondly without the emotional pain 

#Grief #Loss #Breakingthroughloss

Do listen to wisdom on grief - it can help you!

Tonite I want to write so much.

I feel inspired after reading ‘Breaking Through Loss’.

I was reminded of why I wrote my book, of the absolute confidence and knowledge that I AM able to bring guidance and relief to anyone suffering grief.

I am not here to tell you to buy the book, I am not in it to win it!

I AM here to listen and to help YOU –

Please connect and talk to me.

Ah! Just got it …. Mirror mirror!

 I myself am so guilty of NOT connecting and talking about what is going on in my thoughts. …yet I am wanting you to do the very thing I am not doing ….derrrr!

Actually – that’s not quite true….I am revealing myself through google plus and facebook and my book, I’m just not sure that my family, friends, work colleagues etc see my posts, so it IS a kind of ‘secret garden’

Then again …… I do try to tell my family and friends as to what is going on, they either do not listen or they switch off from me.

You know…I don’t believe that I am so ‘abnormal’ …I actually think this is normal behaviour!

And……there is nothing wrong in figuring it all out.

Are we saying that we have been taught to act in this way ?

For myself personally I cannot ignore a person’s feelings.

I want to listen, I want to respond in the way that suits them best. I CARE.

........ it is definitely time for change!