Is it true that grief is experienced by people who have a'victim' mentality ?

I couldn't believe my ears when I heard this from someone who works in HR, for a moment I was suspended sky high on a pendulum! Then I threw my head back and laughed! Yes the Universe loves to tease us and the Gods were having fun with me...............

I know better than this. I was not going to waste my time on such a judgmental view.Clearly they had never experienced grief and that's fine, I just wouldn't like to be someone sufferring grief and seeking out that person's sympathy.

I would love to hear your views on this. Personally I would not have welcomed this view when I experienced the loss not of one sister, but of two at the tender age of nine! I cannot for one minute imagine that there are people out there who would dismiss the trauma...but sad to say there are, and there are too many of them.

I never played victim, I quietly got on with my activities, I didn't even want to show my tears at the funeral. I buried my grief because I didn't know what else to do, I did not know of any other alternative. Back in the sixties most people didn't know any different, and 'putting on the brave face' was the normal thing, after all our Great Grandfathers had either died or survived the War and many had lost loved ones.....so it wasn't talked about.

After several decades of repeated misfortunes I would've held my hand up and said that I 'felt' like a victim of repeated losses, I would have been right and I would have been none the wiser as to why this kept repeating for me.

Fortunately for me I encountered a very ground breaking view to loss, one which I witnessed one weekend back in March 2010, one which totally changed my life...

I can't wait to tell you more about it...or you could read about it in my book called 'Breaking Through Loss'  if you goto www.breakingthroughloss.com you can actually register and receive the first three chapters for free.

We can catch up soon, I'd love to hear what your views are about loss and grief, and what would you have to say to this person who thinks that you either master upto grief or you dive into a victimhood ?

Please keep comments polite and respectful.