Elizabeth Kubler Ross - No grief guru at all!

What five stage grief process!

Heres is my 5 point insight into Elizabeth Kubler Ross's work :

1. EKR studied the dying and not those bereaved
2. Her points of view lacked the new methods open to us
3. EKR was a pioneer for understanding loss of your own life
4. Personal Grief arises through loss of your own infatuations
5. EKR was a pioneer for linking loss of self and grief of others together

For all the above and Elizabeth Kubler Ross  I am grateful and blessed. Here is an excerpt from my book 'Breaking Through Loss'Page 64  : 

'My Mother bless her, gave me a book on the stages of grief and this at least helped me to feel that I was a normal person and that these strong emotions and feelings were okay. At last, someone recognized and could explain with some accuracy what I was experiencing. The book was written by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.'

God Bless you!

Lynn

#Grief #Loss #ElizabethKublerRoss #Lynnhopethomas #Breakingthroughloss #Celebrityloss 

Coping Skills ?

My experience of loss and the journey I am on will be different to many others. We all experience loss and grief  - it is a fact of life.

 I was a child who experienced traumatic loss and that loss was unknowingly kept buried in my physical body. I didn’t suffer grief for prolonged periods, I got on with life and to the outside world I was fine.I never realised for forty years that I had not successfully processed the grief.

When people talk about Loss and grief and what that journey is, I will listen to those who have suffered similar to me, and not to those who say..for example have lost a parent in a normal natural life event.

They are two very different scenarios, granted I have yet to lose a parent, though I have lost grandparents and suffered no grief at all. That’s not to say I didn’t love my grandparents, I did, very much so. Again I am not saying that losing a grandparent involves no grief and loss, as for some that might be traumatic to them. It depends on the strength of connectedness to the grandparent.

I believe that anyone who has experienced loss and grief and deep emotions around it, would never minimise another’s grief. For those who suffer a traumatic loss, the range of emotions is quite profound.

This brings me on to the point I want to make.

Will the ones who haven’t suffered grief let alone loss, keep their opinions to themselves.! I mean what makes them so opinionated! Their opportunity to learn is just around the corner.

I don’t want telling that loss and grief is about lack of ‘coping skills’…..I have heard this a few times!

That is like telling someone who has just had their leg blown off and the subsequent emotions that follow, are due to a lack of coping skills. Not a welcome comment!

Some of my best coping skills was to dance and undertake physical exercise and challenges. It was as if by spinning the body, healing could take place. I focussed on my gymnastics and grew my physical strength. These days I dance.

Loss can drive incredible energy to succeed and survive- It comes as no surprise to me that there is now an Olympic team of refugees –. These athletes exemplify the heights of the pain and suffering they have endured and how it is possible to overcome the challenges.

Coping skills?  Yes we have them!

And it took grief and loss to find them!

Go Refugee Olympians 2016

Shine bright like the diamonds you are!

https://www.rio2016.com/en/videos

Grief to Relief: Traumatic Loss - is it inherited ?

Grief to Relief: Traumatic Loss - is it inherited ?: I love the journey of discovery that has stemmed from the loss of my twin sisters. Each year pieces of the puzzle are opened up and I lear...

Traumatic Loss - is it inherited ?

I love the journey of discovery that has stemmed from the loss of my twin sisters. Each year pieces of the puzzle are opened up and I learn more. Having written my personal story called Breaking Through Loss, I found a wonderful method that can heal loss and prevent the repeats that can happen if loss is buried and not brought into the light.

Now after reading this article below, I am in no doubt that we can inherit buried emotion from our grandparents and great grandparents, as well as pass on further trauma to future generations.

Unresolved trauma passes through the genes.So your offspring can expect to be presented with similar trauma in an attempt to learn how to break the pattern and shine light on the situation.

Breaking Though Loss shows you how to prevent repeated losses in the most effective and efficient way.

If you have had family who have died, for example in wars, through cancers and illnesses, chances are there are repeating events happening in your life too.

You can peruse my story on Amazon at http://amzn.to/1p8i2Pe

I also recommend reading this article in which it explains how Rachel Yehuda, professor of psychiatry and neuroscience at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York has discovered that people with Post Traumatic Stress,have lower cortisol levels in their blood and this is passed onto offspring, thereby proving that trauma is inherited if untreated.

https://www.scienceandnonduality.com/an-excerpt-from-it-didnt-start-with-you-how-inherited-family-trauma-shapes-who-we-are-and-how-to-end-the-cycle-viking-april-2016-by-mark-wolynn/


If you have any questions I am a trained Demartini Method consultant and an expert in loss and grief and any form of change. I would love to answer your questions.

#Grief #Loss #Epigenetics #unresolved grief #stoprepeatingloss #breakingsthrough loss #lynnhopethomas

Not running from myself no more - Grief ends here!

I have taken a long journey through grief. Don’t get me wrong I have had a great life filled with many happy events, I’ve done more than many.Yet the undercurrent has always been the grief of losing my twin sisters. I cannot ever forget the days when their loss happened and the sheer shock of what that meant to me.

Not everyone has this experience and even if they do, not everyone experiences it like I did. Let’s face it some people are happy if someone leaves their life! If we hate someone and we have pain from them, then we are happy they leave!

Difficulty comes when we ‘love’ them and then we feel a lot of emotional pain. That is what happened to me. I loved my sisters so much…so very much.

Yet little did I understand how much my love was a very one-sided experience. In fact I wasn’t truly loving them for who they were and I wasn’t loving myself for who I was!

Even as I write, I feel emotional, I recall just how much I perceived I loved them, and that loss hurt me like a thousand knives!

I will never forget that feeling and I am very grateful for it.

Since then I have learnt how to balance out that traumatic emotion and bring to a most respectable feeling of love and balance.

I can help you do the same. Yes it is not a straight forward process but is a process and it is fairly quick.

It is quicker than most so called therapy – so please do not get bogged down in grief.

I could be that option for you that allows you to begin living truly to yourself!

I’ve experienced a lot of loss and now I am comfortable with all that loss. If you would like to talk to me then please make a connection my connection email is lynn950@gmail.com

Heading Home

That picture is so special to me. That dog is so special to me. That morning, that sunlight that moon are special to me.The path is so special to me. To think that the farmer laid that  - it's actually made of concrete slabs. Its for the farm animals - it makes it easier for them to walk, it stops the ground from getting really muddy and soggy. We have had so many flooded areas , the ground is very sodden, and this field with its road is perfect for walking the dog - lol! I love this farmer! I love this dog, I love my village...and I love the morning prayers, very grateful for the time I have to do this. Check out your own areas of special, what are they ? Think about them, what things do you love dearly ? What things in life are you grateful for ?

My gravity!

Feb Post

January was full of hope as a new year started and I was going great guns with my planning. Really high on my agenda was some Master Planning for the year ahead. Needing to balance my life and ensure that I devote ample time to each of the key seven areas of life.

I believe that you can do what you love and earn ample to enjoy the life you want if you can be disciplined enough to not only allow yourself to dream but to take action, take steps and move along that path.

I have succeeded in writing a book which seemed like a mountain to climb at the start, but eventually it came to fruition and it was all from following the simple steps of trusting myself, believing in the dream, and working on it.

Of course I had people assist me along the way. I trusted that the universe would send me what and who I needed.

I would love to write this blog and sound like a sophisticated guru who knows the 'answer', the truth is I don't, I don't know it any more than anyone else. What I do know is that I have experienced some profound things and I have searched for over four decades to find answers.

Due to the nature of my 'life' challenge I learnt from a young age to keep silent. For those who don't know I lost both of my sisters when I was nine years old, back in the days when there was not much understanding about loss and grief.

The silence taught me many things and it also was responsible for bringing about many repeats of loss and changes in my life that would see me encounter many difficult challenges.

I wonder…do you know how it feels to have so much emotional stuff trapped inside you, with no outlet ? You see for me, I have been quiet for so much of my life. I feel sure that my life's mission is to teach young children what I have learnt.

Have you seen the movie 'Gravity' with Sandra Bullock ?  Stranded in space, with many difficult problems to solve, she almost loses the will to live, having suffered the loss of her son, just as she is about to give up….George Clooney's ghost appears and says something like ' Yeah….it's pretty good out here….it's safe here in space……easier than the challenges of life on earth…' Well something struck me like a bolt! The scene mirrored where I was at ……you see the silence seems like a security blanket however in essence it is holding me back from being my full blown self.

Being silent is like being out alone in space….please excuse I can feel myself welling with emotion. I am so scared to do, say something and be rejected, laughed at or scorned. When you feel intense emotional pain, you kind of want to hide away from anyone adding more hurt to it…you hope that in time it will heal and feel less painful…the truth is that by hiding you keep it raw.

I am not going to do it anymore. I have decided not to be such a big sop. I don't want to be stranded in space anymore.

I want to live my life in a fantastic and fulfilling way. I want to enjoy sharing with other people and helping them to overcome their fears and help them appreciate who they are, as much as who I am. To teach my daughter how to love herself through my example would be so beautiful.

She asked me the other day 'Mummy ..what would you say is the most important thing in life ?' Woah what a deep question!

I said 'to live your most authentic self'

I asked her what she thought it was and then …she blew me away………………

'Love……….I think love is the most important thing'

Boom! That's my gravity!

#Grief #Loss #Love #Life