Lesson of Love

As time passes so quickly I am reminded of the importance to keep a balance in my life. I don't know about you, I find that as Valentine's Day approaches the prospect of seeing adverts and reminders of 'love' simply astounds me.

 

It's all about the money they can generate from men and women spending on their 'loved' ones, giving out the message that if one hasn't bought twelve red roses and invited the partner to a romantic dinner then you may be they will be upset. When we see family and friends buying into the fantasy of it all, we can feel left behind and obliged to do what we don't want to.

 

My heart always goes out to the ones who are missing a dear loved on, it can be a painful time - IF YOU LET IT!

The key is to not allow your loss to overshadow your life.

 

Believe me I know it is NOT easy, and the reason for that is that grief is an addiction

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When we spent so much time with our loved ones and allowing our minds to dwell on the highs, the lovely things they did, the feelings of euphoria, our bodies emit feel good factor chemicals that are equivalent to heroine or other drugs. We are addicted to the person, addicted to being around them and when they suddenly disappear, the pain of grief is like the withdrawal of a strong drug.

 

The truth of the matter is that when we allow ourselves to remain in grief, we are in fact not loving the person as we are in fact recalling HALF of their traits, the ones that made us happy. In truth they had traits that made us less happy and we also perceived faults that made us sad. It sounds too easy and a little unbelievable! Having experienced grief firsthand I have experienced the full impact of what an imbalanced perception can have. It is one of the hardest and difficult emotions to bear, shocking the system and when left unheard can seriously and adversely impact life in repeating cycles.

 

There is a way out of grief as described in my book called Breaking Through Loss ( Simply look up Amazon - Breaking Through Loss - Lynn Hope Thomas)

 

The real beauty in loss is the lesson it gives us in learning to love ourselves and not to dwell on what we miss in our deceased.

 

We can own the traits we loved and own the traits we disliked and in doing this we receive a beautiful gift of love from our deceased that they have passed over to us.

 

This Valentine day, I was happy to think about the balance I needed to bring into my life, the lessons of love and loss at the foremost of my mind. The gift is a priceless one.

 

As others rush around building fantasy and dreams that potentially set themselves up for grief , my focus is on loving myself. It may sound pompous to some, but often it is the hardest challenge the majority of us have. For me it is to be as balanced as I can, because in that state I am the best I am.

 

I am single, I am neither alone in that state nor am I any worse or better off. I am simply a single person this romantic month and I am wiser from the relationships I perceived I had lost because in reality each of them is as much within me each and every day. It cannot be any other way.

 

As I realise that for me grief is gone!

 

I want to help you to reach the same point too.

 

Lift up your heart for you ARE an amazing person who can bring so much joy to others. And if you don't believe that, then simply respond to me, I KNOW how much joy you can bring !