Happy New Year!
Questions are the key to discovery and a new perspective.
If you have suffered from a deep loss in the recent years, I
want you to embrace the New Year with a fullness of heart and mind.
Allow your year ahead to be fulfilling and inspired and
appreciate what you are learning about grief and how the loss of your loved one
is giving you a new perspective on life.
It is too easy to fall into the ‘If only…..” “If only they
were here, then everything would be fine…”
Thinking in this way is a natural process. It can be unhelpful
though because our loved ones are not here, your life is in the here and now,
not in what could have been or should have been.
Thinking about what you could have had, should have had is
only destroying your presence here on Earth. Precisely an activity that your
loved one would not be best pleased about!
Life is full of ups and downs and that is the normal pattern,
however when we grieve we remain stuck in a ‘down’, we don’t allow ourselves
any joy.
Trust me at first it may seem easier to bury the grief and
remain in the ‘down’, but grief wants to release itself like a river flowing ,
the more we try to stop it , it will build up its banks and finally burst through
to the natural flow it needs to go.
It is much easier to let the flow continue and not put up
any barriers. The only person you kid yourself is YOU!
Let this New Year bring change for the better. A new you! An
opportunity to appreciate the one you lost with a new perspective? Begin by
asking new questions of yourself and dig deeper into the grief territory.
Ask yourself whether there might possibly be some drawbacks
to your loved one still living?
Ouch…I know this is hard to take on board and the degree to
which it hurts is the degree to which your perspective can change for the
better and for your health.
Ask yourself whether some good things have happened since
the loss ?
For example you may have
more social interactions and friendships happening. You have changed your
normal patterns of behaviour and new interests are coming into your life. Maybe
people who were previously distant are spending more time with you. Try and
focus on the reality of what new things have come into your life.
Ask yourself what are the benefits of the new things appearing
?
Nothing is ever missing and as one energy form releases into
the universe another will take its place and maintain the equilibrium of life
and balance.
As I move into the New Year I reflect on what I have ‘lost’
by moving country and I can see that for things I miss, there are now new
things that I love and appreciate. For some of those things they are quite similar
yet different. For whatever grief I have or had I can see the new form and I
know that even when I may feel ‘down’ like something is missing. I only need
time to reflect and ponder on where the new form is. Sure enough it can be
found.
I wrote the book ‘Breaking Through Loss’ to help people who
are struggling with loss and grief. My way of passing on some of the lesson I
learnt and where to go to seek help. The book is available from Amazon at
Let 2015 be your year
for change!
Wishing you love and wisdom and keep asking yourself quality
questions
Lynn
#Loss #Grief #NewYear #Questions
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