Feb Post
January was full of
hope as a new year started and I was going great guns with my planning. Really
high on my agenda was some Master Planning for the year ahead. Needing to
balance my life and ensure that I devote ample time to each of the key seven
areas of life.
I believe that you
can do what you love and earn ample to enjoy the life you want if you can be
disciplined enough to not only allow yourself to dream but to take action, take
steps and move along that path.
I have succeeded in
writing a book which seemed like a mountain to climb at the start, but
eventually it came to fruition and it was all from following the simple steps
of trusting myself, believing in the dream, and working on it.
Of course I had
people assist me along the way. I trusted that the universe would send me what
and who I needed.
I would love to
write this blog and sound like a sophisticated guru who knows the 'answer', the
truth is I don't, I don't know it any more than anyone else. What I do know is
that I have experienced some profound things and I have searched for over four decades
to find answers.
Due to the nature of
my 'life' challenge I learnt from a young age to keep silent. For those who
don't know I lost both of my sisters when I was nine years old, back in the
days when there was not much understanding about loss and grief.
The silence taught
me many things and it also was responsible for bringing about many repeats of
loss and changes in my life that would see me encounter many difficult
challenges.
I wonder…do you know
how it feels to have so much emotional stuff trapped inside you, with no outlet
? You see for me, I have been quiet for so much of my life. I feel sure that my
life's mission is to teach young children what I have learnt.
Have you seen the
movie 'Gravity' with Sandra Bullock ?
Stranded in space, with many difficult problems to solve, she almost
loses the will to live, having suffered the loss of her son, just as she is
about to give up….George Clooney's ghost appears and says something like '
Yeah….it's pretty good out here….it's safe here in space……easier than the
challenges of life on earth…' Well something struck me like a bolt! The scene
mirrored where I was at ……you see the silence seems like a security blanket
however in essence it is holding me back from being my full blown self.
Being silent is like
being out alone in space….please excuse I can feel myself welling with emotion.
I am so scared to do, say something and be rejected, laughed at or scorned.
When you feel intense emotional pain, you kind of want to hide away from anyone
adding more hurt to it…you hope that in time it will heal and feel less
painful…the truth is that by hiding you keep it raw.
I am not going to do
it anymore. I have decided not to be such a big sop. I don't want to be
stranded in space anymore.
I want to live my
life in a fantastic and fulfilling way. I want to enjoy sharing with other
people and helping them to overcome their fears and help them appreciate who
they are, as much as who I am. To teach my daughter how to love herself through
my example would be so beautiful.
She asked me the
other day 'Mummy ..what would you say is the most important thing in life ?'
Woah what a deep question!
I said 'to live your
most authentic self'
I asked her what she
thought it was and then …she blew me away………………
'Love……….I think
love is the most important thing'
Boom! That's my
gravity!
#Grief #Loss #Love
#Life
