A week of Rembrance - OMG

Hi,

I pay tribute to the brave soldiers who dedicate their lives to keeping my life safe! And within that tribute is respect for the families who loose their loved ones. My poem is that tribute as published last week.
Remembrance has been a big thing in the media..unbeknown to the media are my personal experiences this week.

My father's cousin died, Eunice, it was her funeral...I was amazed to learn much more about her at the funeral. It was lovely, they paid a beautiful tribute to her life - she loved to party and travel!

For me, the hard part was being with family! I know I am not the only one here who must have this difficulty. We were faced with a relative , an angry relative, one who wanted to express their anger.

I tried to pacify him, I was left more upset and in tears than the actual funeral itself!

Family deaths can stir up a lot of repressed emotion. Have you experienced this ?

Grief is one thing....dealing with family is even bigger!

The source of anger was totally, in my perception unfounded, having not seen this family member for fourteen years, how could they be so angry! I was actually pleased to see them until they let their anger known.

For me, it was difficult, they never gave me chance to express myself.
Where have I gone wrong ?
What did I do to receive this anger ?

How do you approach an angry person ?

Looking back ...they were angry then. I feel at a loss for words, yet I know that the person is giving me a lesson.

Yes! A lesson....one I need to uncover and uncover it I will!

Sometimes the immediate loss is not understood, yet guaranteed each time is a revelation into your life!

Yes!

A wonderful revelation about yourself...an opportunity to learn more about yourself.

My family I would like to believe is pretty normal actually

If this is happening to me....then I wonder what is happening to you ?

Don't you think that if we talk together we might just......you know ......just makes some sence of what grief is all about!


Any way that is the start of my week of remembrance......listen in tomorrow because
it all continues in a weird way....listen in my loves  ;)

Bedtime for me now....excuse me ....I will return x

Remember them- my poem tribute

For all brave soldiers

“Remember them ……………brave  bold and bright

………….as the Poppy fields bloom in full red flight

Deep with colour their love flows strong

Each head raised up in perfect song

In the wind blowing all floral flags are raised

Not one not two but thousands are praised

We braved our loved ones to champion the fight

So all our land could sleep safe at night

Yet now we grieve those beautiful souls, indeed ‘twas their choice to defend

And ours now  is to rise above loss, allowing our hearts to mend”

 

Poem by Lynn Hope Thomas

 

As we celebrate 100 years since the first world war, there cannot be a family out there unaffected in some way from the loss of a loved one.

Celebrate does seem an odd word when mixed with loss, though in celebrating we can honor the bravery and the lives lost in order to save the rest of us.

It give a much greater chance to help all the survivors of war. Whether a soldier, a father, a brother, a husband, partner , mother, daughter, it is by allowing the remembrance of what took place, we allow an opportunity for those who may have buried emotion, to recall some of the mixed and powerful emotions and allow them rise up once again and be felt.

Every person experiences loss and grief differently, no two people are the same. Some can process it with or without help and some appear to be managing it but hidden symptoms can show up as anger, depression, alcoholism and other unhealthy distractions.

Buried emotion can go deeper than a trench, like a grand canyon. At times a person may not even be conscious that grief is affecting their life. For example children have a natural protection mechanism whereby they can appear unaffected by incidents, only to find that later in life they need to process the unresolved grief.

As a child I’ve always had a fascination for war and death. My Nana, recounted many stories from WW1 of fallen family, wounded soldiers and trips to the air raid shelters. I would listen intent on every word, and by every word, I felt as though I had experienced the war for myself. I knew what I would do, how I would react, in fact I knew how I would feel. Nana shared with me postcards that family soldiers had embroidered for the family – secretly it broke my heart to read their messages of how they missed home and family.

Never did I know that one day I would know firsthand how tragic loss can wreak havoc in families.

It is not just sympathy I have for anyone suffering from loss at this Remembrance Day but true empathy. I know the hurt, the pain, the lost dreams, and the incredible impact that loss can have on any one life.

It would be wrong to say that the pain is constant and remains forever, that is not true. The pain slowly dissipates over time and sometimes it falls into a slumber, only to be awakened by a raging furnace of emotion that can be so totally destructive.

Well, for me it was like that, you see I buried the emotion, as a child I didn’t speak about it, I thought I was doing a good job of being a brave little girl when it was hurting, and then when the pain was in slumber I played and laughed and had a great time, so why would I know that I had a problem ? I didn’t - I was loving life and making the most of it.

So you see…experts can guide you as to what to do, but if you are in that period of slumber, nothing is going to be ‘needed’. Experts can offer loads of stuff and still you won’t ‘need’ any of it!

So why am I writing this? Okay, partially it is to help myself, I guess that in some respects it allows me the chance to express how I felt after loss, you see……elements are always there. Though I must say I have had a big shift in my loss and grief, a chance, an opportunity to see that most of what I have lived and survived through was totally unnecessary!

Believe it - well you WILL find it difficult to!!

DON’T let that stop you from reading on. If you are looking to find a recovery from the pain of grief, if you are interested in how unresolved loss and grief and affect your life, how it can stop you from living a full blown wonderful, beautiful and blossomed life then read on!

If you are a doubter, prefer to bury your head in the sand then don’t read on, but at least open your mind to the possibility that when you ignore the messages from the universe to balance out your perception to loss – then the Universe kicks back harder and harder until you are ready to listen. If that happens to you, then remember my blog, remember that I have empathy, I know the pain and that my mission is to help you find relief from that.

Yes…I finally discovered that after forty years of cycling through pain, tears, grief, not to mention failed relationships and all the scenarios recreated to allow me to feel loss…I finally found a tool to allow me to overcome that pain.

My blog now has a purpose which is to reach out to as many people as I can; people who have suffered from loss and grief.

Through my experience I want to intrigue them, to learn more about the Demartini method and what it can bring their lives. Remember loss and grief covers many scenarios, it could be loss of limb, job, partner, child, father, mother, sister, brother etc.

It is totally possible to choose to overcome grief, it really is not a pain that you need to experience for a long time.

I believe that I have found the world’s most effective tool in combatting the pain of loss.

The thing is, unless you are in the right frame of mind you will never believe me.

When I found the tool, I wasn’t looking for relief from grief, after 40 years it was something I lived with. When I was introduced to it, it was a tool with a thousand uses. I had reached a point in my life where I was tired and worn out, life was so ‘hard’,difficult and unenjoyable; that getting out of bed was difficult for me.

Mmmm you know,Doctor’s call it depression and want to prescribe drugs but I knew that having lived the life I had, it was hardly surprising that I felt the way I did! Why take a drug? A drug wasn’t going to change how my life was! Don’t take this the wrong way, I know that anti-depressants can work for people, I am talking about my own personal status and no-one else’s.

Inside I felt strongly that a drug was not the answer, yet I was ‘desperate’ to find the answer of how to live a more fulfilled and joyful life. Surely after all the pain and misery I deserved a better life with more joy?

After I experienced what is called the ‘Breakthrough Experience’ I can only say that I woke up to a magical experience that has since transformed my life.

I don’t wish to make out that there is some magical means to keep one a state of eternal happiness, as life just like nature is a balance of both support and challenge, and when one appreciates that and has the right tool, it means one can navigate the hardest trials and tribulations.

The initial experience kicked off a chain reaction in my brain, I would wake at night and it felt like fireworks were lighting up all over my brain, I was so mesmerised by the result of one weekend in my life. I had been so down beat and tired and all of a sudden I was waking up with loads of energy, feeling inspired; excited , excited to be living and imagining where it was going lead me.

You will never believe that it is possible to overcome the pain of grief in a couple of hours. Yes a couple of hours! I have been through it, and I have seen it and hundreds, thousands of people have seen it happen, using this incredible method.

Can you imagine how that statement can be met with ridicule? Grief can be overcome within a couple of hours, even less! Yes…I have had closed doors,disrespect, abruptness…I have been met with claims of stupidity, finding myself ignored, not spoken to, treated like a leper?

Well bring it on! I cannot change my new found beliefs. After forty years and the life I have lived I feel pretty certain I know what works for grief and what doesn’t.

The thing is that the people who make opposing statements and the ones who ridicule me, or even the Doctors, psychologists, and grief counsellors, have never experienced a loss like I have. So tell me, how do they know what is best?

 

I have talked about loss and grief, I have felt like my repeated loss is a kind of PTSD, that is each new loss re-opens wounds and although each successive loss is not more significant, it feels doubly, triply worse in terms of the amount of pain. Yet I have been chastised by people diagnosed with PTSD, saying I have ‘no right’ to make any comment. Well too bad Sir/Madam! I am not comparing situations, I don’t ever want to! Each person is allowed to feel their pain, their trauma, their discomfort and own it , in whatever way they want and need to. I am here to help them.

 

And the method I have come across , is one that can fit any, I mean any, amount of pain, trauma. It can handle anything! That said – the person has to be seeking help, has to be in the mind set looking for help, not looking for an argument!

And God bless those still in the argumentative zone, I’ve been there too.

For anyone interested I wrote a book following my magical discovery and it can be found at the following address: -

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Breaking-Through-Loss-Powerful-Scientific/dp/1452507929

 

Commercially  - Remember them

As I write my blog for the brave soldiers of our world and their families and friends, being a business consultant I want bring a mirror back to the commercial world we live in.

Life is always mirrored, internally the way we think and possibly repress is mirrored and expressed externally . Our private lives are also reflected energetically in our working lives.

I will leave you with those thoughts and come back to them in later blogs. For now I call on all commercial businesses to consider for longer than one day! Who are the soldiers in your organisation?

Who are the ones laying down, or fighting for your cause? Who are the ones who need to be praised? Who deserves the medal for bravery?

When we can respect our soldiers/workers, when we can honour them with gratitude, then we begin to build armies that make nations.

Do you see what I am saying?

When we honour the troops, the troops honour us!

Is this happening in your organisation?

You can have Strategy, Tactics and procedures but if you don’t honour and show gratitude for your troops then none will do their best for you.

Have you ever noticed what happens in your organisation when a key trouper is lost? Have you ever noticed the ripple effect? Have you ever considered the financial loss your organisation suffers?