Hi,
I pay tribute to the brave soldiers who dedicate their lives to keeping my life safe! And within that tribute is respect for the families who loose their loved ones. My poem is that tribute as published last week.
Remembrance has been a big thing in the media..unbeknown to the media are my personal experiences this week.
My father's cousin died, Eunice, it was her funeral...I was amazed to learn much more about her at the funeral. It was lovely, they paid a beautiful tribute to her life - she loved to party and travel!
For me, the hard part was being with family! I know I am not the only one here who must have this difficulty. We were faced with a relative , an angry relative, one who wanted to express their anger.
I tried to pacify him, I was left more upset and in tears than the actual funeral itself!
Family deaths can stir up a lot of repressed emotion. Have you experienced this ?
Grief is one thing....dealing with family is even bigger!
The source of anger was totally, in my perception unfounded, having not seen this family member for fourteen years, how could they be so angry! I was actually pleased to see them until they let their anger known.
For me, it was difficult, they never gave me chance to express myself.
Where have I gone wrong ?
What did I do to receive this anger ?
How do you approach an angry person ?
Looking back ...they were angry then. I feel at a loss for words, yet I know that the person is giving me a lesson.
Yes! A lesson....one I need to uncover and uncover it I will!
Sometimes the immediate loss is not understood, yet guaranteed each time is a revelation into your life!
Yes!
A wonderful revelation about yourself...an opportunity to learn more about yourself.
My family I would like to believe is pretty normal actually
If this is happening to me....then I wonder what is happening to you ?
Don't you think that if we talk together we might just......you know ......just makes some sence of what grief is all about!
Any way that is the start of my week of remembrance......listen in tomorrow because
it all continues in a weird way....listen in my loves ;)
Bedtime for me now....excuse me ....I will return x
Supporting people to get through the emotions of grief arising from loss of any kind.Death of loved one,job loss,financial loss,relationship loss,pet loss.
Saturday 15 November 2014
Saturday 8 November 2014
Remember them- my poem tribute
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For all brave soldiers
“Remember them ……………brave bold and bright
………….as the Poppy fields bloom in full red flight
Deep with colour their love flows strong
Each head raised up in perfect song
In the wind blowing all floral flags are raised
Not one not two but thousands are praised
We braved our loved ones to champion the fight
So all our land could sleep safe at night
Yet now we grieve those beautiful souls, indeed ‘twas their
choice to defend
And ours now is to
rise above loss, allowing our hearts to mend”
Poem by Lynn Hope Thomas
As we celebrate 100 years since the first world war, there
cannot be a family out there unaffected in some way from the loss of a loved
one.
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It give a much greater chance to help all the survivors of
war. Whether a soldier, a father, a brother, a husband, partner , mother,
daughter, it is by allowing the remembrance of what took place, we allow an
opportunity for those who may have buried emotion, to recall some of the mixed
and powerful emotions and allow them rise up once again and be felt.
Every person experiences loss and grief differently, no two
people are the same. Some can process it with or without help and some appear
to be managing it but hidden symptoms can show up as anger, depression,
alcoholism and other unhealthy distractions.
Buried emotion can go deeper than a trench, like a grand
canyon. At times a person may not even be conscious that grief is affecting
their life. For example children have a natural protection mechanism whereby
they can appear unaffected by incidents, only to find that later in life they
need to process the unresolved grief.
As a child I’ve always had a fascination for war and death.
My Nana, recounted many stories from WW1 of fallen family, wounded soldiers and
trips to the air raid shelters. I would listen intent on every word, and by
every word, I felt as though I had experienced the war for myself. I knew what
I would do, how I would react, in fact I knew how I would feel. Nana shared
with me postcards that family soldiers had embroidered for the family –
secretly it broke my heart to read their messages of how they missed home and
family.
Never did I know that one day I would know firsthand how
tragic loss can wreak havoc in families.
It is not just sympathy I have for anyone suffering from
loss at this Remembrance Day but true empathy. I know the hurt, the pain, the
lost dreams, and the incredible impact that loss can have on any one life.
It would be wrong to say that the pain is constant and
remains forever, that is not true. The pain slowly dissipates over time and
sometimes it falls into a slumber, only to be awakened by a raging furnace of
emotion that can be so totally destructive.
Well, for me it was like that, you see I buried the emotion,
as a child I didn’t speak about it, I thought I was doing a good job of being a
brave little girl when it was hurting, and then when the pain was in slumber I
played and laughed and had a great time, so why would I know that I had a
problem ? I didn’t - I was loving life and making the most of it.
So you see…experts can guide you as to what to do, but if
you are in that period of slumber, nothing is going to be ‘needed’. Experts can
offer loads of stuff and still you won’t ‘need’ any of it!
So why am I writing this? Okay, partially it is to help
myself, I guess that in some respects it allows me the chance to express how I
felt after loss, you see……elements are always there. Though I must say I have
had a big shift in my loss and grief, a chance, an opportunity to see that most
of what I have lived and survived through was totally unnecessary!
Believe it - well you WILL find it difficult to!!
DON’T let that stop you from reading on. If you are looking
to find a recovery from the pain of grief, if you are interested in how
unresolved loss and grief and affect your life, how it can stop you from living
a full blown wonderful, beautiful and blossomed life then read on!
If you are a doubter, prefer to bury your head in the sand
then don’t read on, but at least open your mind to the possibility that when
you ignore the messages from the universe to balance out your perception to
loss – then the Universe kicks back harder and harder until you are ready to
listen. If that happens to you, then remember my blog, remember that I have
empathy, I know the pain and that my mission is to help you find relief from
that.
Yes…I finally discovered that after forty years of cycling
through pain, tears, grief, not to mention failed relationships and all the
scenarios recreated to allow me to feel loss…I finally found a tool to allow me
to overcome that pain.
My blog now has a purpose which is to reach out to as many
people as I can; people who have suffered from loss and grief.
Through my experience I want to intrigue them, to learn more
about the Demartini method and what it can bring their lives. Remember loss and
grief covers many scenarios, it could be loss of limb, job, partner, child,
father, mother, sister, brother etc.
It is totally possible to choose to overcome grief, it
really is not a pain that you need to experience for a long time.
I believe that I have found the world’s most effective tool
in combatting the pain of loss.
The thing is, unless you are in the right frame of mind you
will never believe me.
When I found the tool, I wasn’t looking for relief from
grief, after 40 years it was something I lived with. When I was introduced to
it, it was a tool with a thousand uses. I had reached a point in my life where
I was tired and worn out, life was so ‘hard’,difficult and unenjoyable; that
getting out of bed was difficult for me.
Mmmm you know,Doctor’s call it depression and want to
prescribe drugs but I knew that having lived the life I had, it was hardly
surprising that I felt the way I did! Why take a drug? A drug wasn’t going to
change how my life was! Don’t take this the wrong way, I know that
anti-depressants can work for people, I am talking about my own personal status
and no-one else’s.
Inside I felt strongly that a drug was not the answer, yet I
was ‘desperate’ to find the answer of how to live a more fulfilled and joyful
life. Surely after all the pain and misery I deserved a better life with more joy?
After I experienced what is called the ‘Breakthrough
Experience’ I can only say that I woke up to a magical experience that has
since transformed my life.
I don’t wish to make out that there is some magical means to
keep one a state of eternal happiness, as life just like nature is a balance of
both support and challenge, and when one appreciates that and has the right
tool, it means one can navigate the hardest trials and tribulations.
The initial experience kicked off a chain reaction in my
brain, I would wake at night and it felt like fireworks were lighting up all
over my brain, I was so mesmerised by the result of one weekend in my life. I
had been so down beat and tired and all of a sudden I was waking up with loads
of energy, feeling inspired; excited , excited to be living and imagining where
it was going lead me.
You will never believe that it is possible to overcome the
pain of grief in a couple of hours. Yes a couple of hours! I have been through
it, and I have seen it and hundreds, thousands of people have seen it happen,
using this incredible method.
Can you imagine how that statement can be met with ridicule?
Grief can be overcome within a couple of hours, even less! Yes…I have had closed
doors,disrespect, abruptness…I have been met with claims of stupidity, finding
myself ignored, not spoken to, treated like a leper?
Well bring it on! I cannot change my new found beliefs.
After forty years and the life I have lived I feel pretty certain I know what
works for grief and what doesn’t.
The thing is that the people who make opposing statements
and the ones who ridicule me, or even the Doctors, psychologists, and grief
counsellors, have never experienced a loss like I have. So tell me, how do they
know what is best?
I have talked about loss and grief, I have felt like my
repeated loss is a kind of PTSD, that is each new loss re-opens wounds and
although each successive loss is not more significant, it feels doubly, triply
worse in terms of the amount of pain. Yet I have been chastised by people
diagnosed with PTSD, saying I have ‘no right’ to make any comment. Well too bad
Sir/Madam! I am not comparing situations, I don’t ever want to! Each person is
allowed to feel their pain, their trauma, their discomfort and own it , in
whatever way they want and need to. I am here to help them.
And the method I have come across , is one that can fit any,
I mean any, amount of pain, trauma. It can handle anything! That said – the
person has to be seeking help, has to be in the mind set looking for help, not
looking for an argument!
And God bless those still in the argumentative zone, I’ve
been there too.
For anyone interested I wrote a book following my magical
discovery and it can be found at the following address: -
Commercially - Remember them
As I write my blog for the brave soldiers of our world and
their families and friends, being a business consultant I want bring a mirror
back to the commercial world we live in.
Life is always mirrored, internally the way we think and
possibly repress is mirrored and expressed externally . Our private lives are
also reflected energetically in our working lives.
I will leave you with those thoughts and come back to them
in later blogs. For now I call on all commercial businesses to consider for
longer than one day! Who are the soldiers in your organisation?
Who are the ones laying down, or fighting for your cause?
Who are the ones who need to be praised? Who deserves the medal for bravery?
When we can respect our soldiers/workers, when we can honour
them with gratitude, then we begin to build armies that make nations.
Do you see what I am saying?
When we honour the troops, the troops honour us!
Is this happening in your organisation?
You can have Strategy, Tactics and procedures but if you
don’t honour and show gratitude for your troops then none will do their best
for you.
Have you ever noticed what happens in your organisation when
a key trouper is lost? Have you ever noticed the ripple effect? Have you ever
considered the financial loss your organisation suffers?
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