For all brave soldiers
“Remember them ……………brave bold and bright
………….as the Poppy fields bloom in full red flight
Deep with colour their love flows strong
Each head raised up in perfect song
In the wind blowing all floral flags are raised
Not one not two but thousands are praised
We braved our loved ones to champion the fight
So all our land could sleep safe at night
Yet now we grieve those beautiful souls, indeed ‘twas their choice to defend
And ours now is to rise above loss, allowing our hearts to mend”
Poem by Lynn Hope Thomas
There cannot be a family out there unaffected in some way from the loss of a loved one.
'Celebrate' does seem an odd word when mixed with loss, though in celebrating we can honor the bravery and the lives lost in order to save the rest of us.
It give a much greater chance to help all the survivors of war. Whether a soldier, a father, a brother, a husband, partner , mother, daughter, it is by allowing the remembrance of what took place, we allow an opportunity for those who may have buried emotion, to recall some of the mixed and powerful emotions and allow them rise up once again and be felt.
Every person experiences loss and grief differently, no two people are the same. Some can process it with or without help and some appear to be managing it but hidden symptoms can show up as anger, depression, alcoholism and other unhealthy distractions.
Buried emotion can go deeper than a trench, like a grand canyon. At times a person may not even be conscious that grief is affecting their life. For example children have a natural protection mechanism whereby they can appear unaffected by incidents, only to find that later in life they need to process the unresolved grief.
As a child I’ve always had a fascination for war and death. My Nana, recounted many stories from WW1 of fallen family, wounded soldiers and trips to the air raid shelters. I would listen intent on every word, and by every word, I felt as though I had experienced the war for myself. I knew what I would do, how I would react, in fact I knew how I would feel. Nana shared with me postcards that family soldiers had embroidered for the family – secretly it broke my heart to read their messages of how they missed home and family.
Never did I know that one day I would know firsthand how tragic loss can wreak havoc in families.
It is not just sympathy I have for anyone suffering from loss at this Remembrance Day but true empathy. I know the hurt, the pain, the lost dreams, and the incredible impact that loss can have on any one life.
It would be wrong to say that the pain is constant and remains forever, that is not true. The pain slowly dissipates over time and sometimes it falls into a slumber, only to be awakened by a raging furnace of emotion that can be so totally destructive.
Well, for me it was like that, you see I buried the emotion, as a child I didn’t speak about it, I thought I was doing a good job of being a brave little girl when it was hurting, and then when the pain was in slumber I played and laughed and had a great time, so why would I know that I had a problem ? I didn’t - I was loving life and making the most of it.
So you see…experts can guide you as to what to do, but if you are in that period of slumber, nothing is going to be ‘needed’. Experts can offer loads of stuff and still you won’t ‘need’ any of it!
So why am I writing this? Okay, partially it is to help myself, I guess that in some respects it allows me the chance to express how I felt after loss, you see……elements are always there. Though I must say I have had a big shift in my loss and grief, a chance, an opportunity to see that most of what I have lived and survived through was totally unnecessary!
Believe it - well you WILL find it difficult to!!
DON’T let that stop you from reading on. If you are looking to find a recovery from the pain of grief, if you are interested in how unresolved loss and grief and affect your life, how it can stop you from living a full blown wonderful, beautiful and blossomed life then read on!
If you are a doubter, prefer to bury your head in the sand then don’t read on, but at least open your mind to the possibility that when you ignore the messages from the universe to balance out your perception to loss – then the Universe kicks back harder and harder until you are ready to listen. If that happens to you, then remember my blog, remember that I have empathy, I know the pain and that my mission is to help you find relief from that.
Yes…I finally discovered that after forty years of cycling through pain, tears, grief, not to mention failed relationships and all the scenarios recreated to allow me to feel loss…I finally found a tool to allow me to overcome that pain.
My blog now has a purpose which is to reach out to as many people as I can; people who have suffered from loss and grief.
