Thank You For protecting my life

For all brave soldiers
“Remember them ……………brave  bold and bright

………….as the Poppy fields bloom in full red flight

Deep with colour their love flows strong

Each head raised up in perfect song

In the wind blowing all floral flags are raised

Not one not two but thousands are praised

We braved our loved ones to champion the fight

So all our land could sleep safe at night

Yet now we grieve those beautiful souls, indeed ‘twas their choice to defend

And ours now  is to rise above loss, allowing our hearts to mend”

Poem by Lynn Hope Thomas

There cannot be a family out there unaffected in some way from the loss of a loved one.

'Celebrate' does seem an odd word when mixed with loss, though in celebrating we can honor the bravery and the lives lost in order to save the rest of us.

It give a much greater chance to help all the survivors of war. Whether a soldier, a father, a brother, a husband, partner , mother, daughter, it is by allowing the remembrance of what took place, we allow an opportunity for those who may have buried emotion, to recall some of the mixed and powerful emotions and allow them rise up once again and be felt.

Every person experiences loss and grief differently, no two people are the same. Some can process it with or without help and some appear to be managing it but hidden symptoms can show up as anger, depression, alcoholism and other unhealthy distractions.

Buried emotion can go deeper than a trench, like a grand canyon. At times a person may not even be conscious that grief is affecting their life. For example children have a natural protection mechanism whereby they can appear unaffected by incidents, only to find that later in life they need to process the unresolved grief.

As a child I’ve always had a fascination for war and death. My Nana, recounted many stories from WW1 of fallen family, wounded soldiers and trips to the air raid shelters. I would listen intent on every word, and by every word, I felt as though I had experienced the war for myself. I knew what I would do, how I would react, in fact I knew how I would feel. Nana shared with me postcards that family soldiers had embroidered for the family – secretly it broke my heart to read their messages of how they missed home and family.

Never did I know that one day I would know firsthand how tragic loss can wreak havoc in families.

It is not just sympathy I have for anyone suffering from loss at this Remembrance Day but true empathy. I know the hurt, the pain, the lost dreams, and the incredible impact that loss can have on any one life.

It would be wrong to say that the pain is constant and remains forever, that is not true. The pain slowly dissipates over time and sometimes it falls into a slumber, only to be awakened by a raging furnace of emotion that can be so totally destructive.

Well, for me it was like that, you see I buried the emotion, as a child I didn’t speak about it, I thought I was doing a good job of being a brave little girl when it was hurting, and then when the pain was in slumber I played and laughed and had a great time, so why would I know that I had a problem ? I didn’t - I was loving life and making the most of it.

So you see…experts can guide you as to what to do, but if you are in that period of slumber, nothing is going to be ‘needed’. Experts can offer loads of stuff and still you won’t ‘need’ any of it!

So why am I writing this? Okay, partially it is to help myself, I guess that in some respects it allows me the chance to express how I felt after loss, you see……elements are always there. Though I must say I have had a big shift in my loss and grief, a chance, an opportunity to see that most of what I have lived and survived through was totally unnecessary!

Believe it - well you WILL find it difficult to!!

DON’T let that stop you from reading on. If you are looking to find a recovery from the pain of grief, if you are interested in how unresolved loss and grief and affect your life, how it can stop you from living a full blown wonderful, beautiful and blossomed life then read on!

If you are a doubter, prefer to bury your head in the sand then don’t read on, but at least open your mind to the possibility that when you ignore the messages from the universe to balance out your perception to loss – then the Universe kicks back harder and harder until you are ready to listen. If that happens to you, then remember my blog, remember that I have empathy, I know the pain and that my mission is to help you find relief from that.

Yes…I finally discovered that after forty years of cycling through pain, tears, grief, not to mention failed relationships and all the scenarios recreated to allow me to feel loss…I finally found a tool to allow me to overcome that pain.

My blog now has a purpose which is to reach out to as many people as I can; people who have suffered from loss and grief.

Poppies turns to Roses

“I AM – the flower of love……

I DON’T SEE : Race, religion, color, weight, school, country, politics, job role, clothes, diet, fans, celebrities, cars, material wealth….

I SEE people, family, community, togetherness, negotiation, resolution, overcoming storms and battles towards peace, weapons falling , hearts opening, sharing, feeding, nurturing and love.

Never underestimate a poppy! Grateful and Blessed

Okay – I could blog for the sake of blogging but that isn’t me. I blog when I have something important to share.

Last week was my twin sisters birthday 18^th October  - I didn’t blog, that was personal stuff.

I wrote ‘Breaking Through Loss’ to help others with grief. I shared a lot of personal stuff in that book,the aim was to help others…and so it is with my blog. A desire and aim to help and support other grievers NOT a forum to advertise my life and everything that is happening in it.

Now we have that out of the way, I would like to say a big thanks for coming into my site and spending time reading my blogs.

Please do feedback to me on your own thoughts.

Tonites blog is about an experience this week that stopped me in my tracks!

At work I travel for an hour and half mainly by train, then I enter the ‘work’ building. You know the one, the one where you treat everyone as a ‘work being’ – we have relationships to do work but in terms of genuine wholesome fulfilling relationships I think most are quite shallow.

As I walk in to the lift that takes me up to the second floor ( yes I could do the stairs)

Instead I get into the lift,packed with people. I see a co-worker with a poppy pinned to his chest, and I make the comment about how sweet his poppy looks. My intentions are genuine and heartfelt. I love the poppy as a flower and I love the meaning of the poppy and I love what it represents. Of course he does not know this about me.

Then….he responds…….wait a moment - I cannot give you a good description of his reply.

It was matter of fact but packed with a punch as powerful as a bomb!

His response was this :

‘ Oh yeh, the poppy. Well I was in church, and I saw a friend, I said to him ‘ Ah…are you back home for your daughter’s birthday ?  - and he said to me ‘No!’ – I came back with a body in a coffin’………….

 or words to that effect.

My God, those words ricochet even now. He totally dropped a bomb, he stopped me in my tracks, he made me value every poppy ever made, I instantly knew of the sacrifice that brave men had made for MY benefit!

I love the man who died, who gave his life for me, I love his family and his friends.

I won’t ever let the sight of a poppy stop me from thinking or feeling my true essence

Grateful and blessed

Rough Week for October

We all know this one!

So be kind to each other
Be kind to yourself

Embrace yourself by putting your arms around yourself in a hug!

Then say ' I love you my darling, you have worked hard and deserve a treat!'

A treat is coming

You are loved


Then tell me in full what traits and actions you want to receive in your life

The more specific you can be then the more likely you are to attract it!



Love Lynn

October - Shake it off!

How are you peeps ? Firstly my friend Max lost his sister this week and I leave it to Max to navigate the grief. Whilst there is I am absolutely 100% certain I can relieve his emotions around the grief using my skills with the Demartini Method, it is not in his interests to push my values onto him nor would it work. Only when a person is ready to shake it off, will they consider seeking help.

I guess then depending on who you speak to and their experience, your best chance is to run an internet search for support, or visit your Doctor, who probably could prescribe anti-depressants to suggest you speak to a psychologist to help talk about your grief.Think carefully about this route ...mmm.

I say 'Shake it Off'!

And you can, I can assist you with an amazing method of questioning that when applied in a persistent manner, and managed correctly by a skilled and trained facilitator. You will be able to 'Shake it Off!'  - You will be able to alleviate the painful emotions of grief and replace them with heartfelt love for your lost one. Whether that is a parent, a sibling a child or partner, or a dear friend or family member.

You regain the pzazz for life that your loved one wants for you.

After all, do you really think they want to see you living in a sad, depressed and minimized way ? Especially when they have moved their spirit into full blown high energy and are having a ball themselves.

I can take you through why grief occurs, and what it means and how to redress those symptoms and replace them with love and warmth that means you can once again live life and feel like you ARE living , instead of feeling down and depressed. Come on! Shake it off!

Contact me if you would like to know more or read my book to understand more of what I am talking about and more about the changes that you can experience. http://amzn.to/1p8i2Pe

#Grief #Life #Love #Shakeitoff #Breakingthroughloss

For Laura and anyone grieving loss of babies

Tonite I write about Laura, three years on she is grieving the loss of her twin babies. She exhibits what are understandably the signs of loss and grief. Many of her friends cannot truly relate as they are not in the state of grief.

Grief lasts longer than sympathy and friend’s patience wears out, only adding to the loss of a griever.

How many more years will she choose to go through the grief? I have already given her my book ‘breaking through loss’ the one book dedicated to helping others understand that grief is truly a choice – you can chose to transcend it by working through it with a trained Demartini Method facilitator.

Strangely though that is not a choice for her.

That brings me back to the point that people will only chose change when the pain is strong enough to warrant that.

What does that mean? It means that for Laura, the pain of her baby’s deaths is serving her in some way, the pain is not that great. When it becomes great – only then will she seek to change things.

It is not easy to understand is it? Why one would chose the pain of loss over the prospect of change?

Well yes…change is painful too.

The loss of two babies is more preferable pain than that of change.

That is quite challenging as a statement – don’t you think?

Okay so think about this…so Laura continues in her grief……there is no defined period that one suffers grief. It could go on for say five years, who determines how long it goes on for?

The strength of Laura’s emotion is about how much she loved her babies, how much her dreams of a future were dashed. At three years on she is imagining the life she should have had, would have had, if they had lived.

In effect she is living in a fantasy/delusion. It is one we can break and get her to reality. Yet she chooses grief over reality.

I have given her my book, I wrote it to help people suffering grief, I thought that if they read my story they would see that I COULD HELP them.

Truth is they don’t see that!!! That is so upsetting for me. I need to know why, why do they not want to read my book that will help them?

Can you help me to understand?

Wake Up Calls – Time to appreciate your loved ones

Wow! I had a massive wakeup call towards the end of last week. Even though I am mindful of appreciating my family, one has to admit that one does get complacent, especially when a family member is irritating us.

Well, as much as I try to be the perfect loving person, I know that in reality a truly ‘loving person’ makes all the mistakes that I make.

Life and love is about likes and dislikes, ying and yang, black and white. So when God then sends a test to us – our true colours come to life!

My mother who is now in her seventies, fell and hit her head on a wall and also a concrete floor. The scene looked like something more sinister had happened and despite my confusion, listening to my Mother’s demand to get home ‘Now’! And assessing the scene, I knew I had to ensure that she received the best care.

It was a long night and even though things are not like they used to be, I was thankful that at least we have a place to go, at least as some sensible point a Doctor would look at my mother’s injuries.

During the time waiting, for which I am grateful for, I was able to show my Mother how much I loved and care for her. We were able to share funny one-liners and also listen and watch the amazing events unfold that are typical of an Accident and Emergency ward. We noted that being over the age of seventy, having suffered a head injury and still bleeding with a bump the size of a satsuma, was in fact not much of an emergency at all – preference made way for drunks, and even a young ‘Justin Bieber’ lookalike who said he had been bitten by a ‘wild animal’!  

Just for the record, we don’t really have any wild animals in England, so I am still uncertain how he got a priority over my poor Mother.

That said, I am grateful for the wait, I am grateful for the time I spent with my amazing Mother. She had suffered concussion and yet was displaying the most admiral strength and resilience you can imagine.

Then again, I have been allowed to see what many people perhaps can’t. I have been privileged to experience a great loss. You see my Mother lost her two babies, many years ago, she endured the cruellest of nature’s wrath and had to survive the ordeal. Sometimes I just can’t get my head around it – she is a tough cookie! What was also my loss too, that of my beautiful sisters, I can’t know what losing two children may feel like, I can only imagine it as a Mother. I do know what it is like to lose siblings …which was pretty awful.

Anyhow I believe that those losses explain to some degree how my Mother has toughened up on the outside. For me these are amazing lessons, I feel honoured to share these times with my Mother. I am blessed to know such an incredible woman.

I later spent some time with my father and he too was in awe of the amount of strength and poise my Mother had. She never once moaned or complained during the eight hours at the hospital, crikey it took about five hours before anyone looked at her wound or dressed it. That said I am grateful for the special time I spent caring for my Mother and that is thanks to the NHS service and the crews who work there.

Yes the whole incident was a wakeup call. Nature’s way of reminding me that time is running out, am I doing all I can to ensure I show my love and care for my family and friends?

Have I done enough to thank my Mother for all she has done, all she has been through?

I don’t want to live with any regrets. I don’t want to be left here with her passed and not have said all that I need to say to her.

One of the biggest regrets people have on loss, is not ever having their loved one that they loved them.

So please have a think about it ….imagine your loved one has passed, think about what you need and want to say to them and then find a time when you can begin telling them just how much you care.

Can you do that? I would really love to hear your own stories, please come back and tell me how you got on, and if you feel you can’t then come and tell me what is stopping you and I can see how I can help you!

I know I am not the most eloquent blogger, I do have a genuine heart and if I can help you, I will!

Thanks for reading, sending you loving energy and smiling as I picture you smiling too

I am grateful

God Bless!