Approaching a Mother's day loss - New hope

As we approach Mother's Day, there are Mother's out there who have lost sons and daughters and there are children who have lost Mothers, or even a close loved one who was like a Mother.

My thoughts are for those in need of comfort and support. Why ? Well…let's say it's my job to watch out for you. The people I care for , are the ones who need some guidance and love.

First off, whatever your situation is, whoever you are, there are many in similar circumstances where others share what you experience and many who want to talk and feel safe, knowing that their feelings and comments are respected. Please feel free to post comments and connect

I work in a corporate business environment and maybe it's just me, I don't feel I could talk to colleagues about circumstances or situations that are not work related.

I struggle to find true sentiment and comfort in the corporate world, especially the area I work in, which is IT related.

That said …..I am grateful for it because it as it then allows me to think more deeply about your possible needs and think of ways to connect with you. Who knows you may find that we share the same difficulties …….

As we approach Mother's day, for some it will be an opportunity to revisit grief in some aspect. Some may dread the day approaching…as it stirs up emotion around your loss.

Loss is the most powerful emotion ever, yet it is different for each person. ….and don't you just love hearing that said to you, when you are feeling blue and some smart 'Alec', who has never experienced 'loss' says it!?

Even worse is someone who has experienced loss, and they say that! Then you think , why do I feel this bad?

We always tell ourselves it's because of the depth of our love. We loved them SO much.

……..

Our loss is great….and I know this….I do ….I really know the pit of loss.

So forgive me when I say :-

I WANT you to think about this :

Listen to Mother Theresa's words, and think how much she would try for YOU to bring light ?

Nothing is ever missing

We are spiritual beings having a physical experience

Energy cannot be destroyed

All communication is a vibration

When a loved one dies, the energy is released into the universe and joins all non-physical energy. No matter how sad we feel about this, for the one who has passed it is an amazing feeling of love and joy. Absolutely no reason to feel sad for them. And guess what ? If you are willing and not totally absorbed in your grief….which by the way….. is a cultural, religious and community based expectation (Some cultures see death as part of the cycle of life, for example the Hindu religion )…if you are willing to keep your heart open, you can come to realise that your loved one may no longer be in physical form but you can still be in communication with them, and you can see traits of your loved appear around you, in the form of things people say, or do, aspects of peoples character, the way someone talks to you, a smile, the look in their eyes, a joke said, a gift given, words carefully spoken, messages that others would not notice.

I understand grief, it is something as a child I threw to the side, I picked myself up and kicked it in the butt, so to speak….well that was until it came back to me again and again! That was when I began to learn some very useful lessons.

When I woke up to the lessons, I began to write about them in a book called 'Breaking Through loss'. The book is available on Amazon and it is in a kindle format reasonably priced.

It is worth reading , I give you decades of experience on grief to recommend the best solution on Earth.

http://tinyurl.com/ok5emwy

If you want to connect this Mother's Day, then it is worth making the start now …believe me it WILL be so worth your while.

Offering you a branch of Hope

Whatever you circumstance, if you need to talk …I'm here

Love and blessing to you

Lynn Hope Thomas

xx

Gravity of Loss Life & Love

 

January was full of hope as a new year started and I was going great guns with my planning. Really high on my agenda was some Master Planning for the year ahead. Needing to balance my life and ensure that I devote ample time to each of the key seven areas of life.

 

I believe that you can do what you love and earn ample to enjoy the life you want if you can be disciplined enough to not only allow yourself to dream but to take action, take steps and move along that path.

 

I have succeeded in writing a book which seemed like a mountain to climb at the start, but eventually it came to fruition and it was all from following the simple steps of trusting myself, believing in the dream, and working on it.

 

Of course I had people assist me along the way. I trusted that the universe would send me what and who I needed.

 

I would love to write this blog and sound like a sophisticated guru who knows the 'answer', the truth is I don't, I don't know it any more than anyone else. What I do know is that I have experienced some profound things and I have searched for over four decades to find answers.

 

Due to the nature of my 'life' challenge I learnt from a young age to keep silent. For those who don't know I lost both of my sisters when I was nine years old, back in the days when there was not much understanding about loss and grief.

 

The silence taught me many things and it also was responsible for bringing about many repeats of loss and changes in my life that would see me encounter many difficult challenges.

 

I wonder…do you know how it feels to have so much emotional stuff trapped inside you, with no outlet ? You see for me, I have been quiet for so much of my life. I feel sure that my life's mission is to teach young children what I have learnt.

 

Have you seen the movie 'Gravity' with Sandra Bullock ?  Stranded in space, with many difficult problems to solve, she almost loses the will to live, having suffered the loss of her son, just as she is about to give up….George Clooney's ghost appears and says something like ' Yeah….it's pretty good out here….it's safe here in space……easier than the challenges of life on earth…' Well something struck me like a bolt! The scene mirrored where I was at ……you see the silence seems like a security blanket however in essence it is holding me back from being my full blown self.

 

Being silent is like being out alone in space….please excuse I can feel myself welling with emotion. I am so scared to do, say something and be rejected, laughed at or scorned. When you feel intense emotional pain, you kind of want to hide away from anyone adding more hurt to it…you hope that in time it will heal and feel less painful…the truth is that by hiding you keep it raw.

 

I am not going to do it anymore. I have decided not to be such a big sop. I don't want to be stranded in space anymore.

 

I want to live my life in a fantastic and fulfilling way. I want to enjoy sharing with other people and helping them to overcome their fears and help them appreciate who they are, as much as who I am. To teach my daughter how to love herself through my example would be so beautiful.

 

She asked me the other day 'Mummy ..what would you say is the most important thing in life ?' Woah what a deep question!

 

I said 'to live your most authentic self'

 

I asked her what she thought it was and then …she blew me away………………

 

'Love……….I think love is the most important thing'

 

Boom! That's my gravity!

 

I reach out to anyone who has suffered loss and hope that by me talking about my stuff you too can find your gravity. Please feel free to ask me questions and compare notes on our flights back to EARTH..lol!

 

With love

 

Lynn

#Grief #Loss #Love #Life

Lesson of Love

As time passes so quickly I am reminded of the importance to keep a balance in my life. I don't know about you, I find that as Valentine's Day approaches the prospect of seeing adverts and reminders of 'love' simply astounds me.

 

It's all about the money they can generate from men and women spending on their 'loved' ones, giving out the message that if one hasn't bought twelve red roses and invited the partner to a romantic dinner then you may be they will be upset. When we see family and friends buying into the fantasy of it all, we can feel left behind and obliged to do what we don't want to.

 

My heart always goes out to the ones who are missing a dear loved on, it can be a painful time - IF YOU LET IT!

The key is to not allow your loss to overshadow your life.

 

Believe me I know it is NOT easy, and the reason for that is that grief is an addiction

.

When we spent so much time with our loved ones and allowing our minds to dwell on the highs, the lovely things they did, the feelings of euphoria, our bodies emit feel good factor chemicals that are equivalent to heroine or other drugs. We are addicted to the person, addicted to being around them and when they suddenly disappear, the pain of grief is like the withdrawal of a strong drug.

 

The truth of the matter is that when we allow ourselves to remain in grief, we are in fact not loving the person as we are in fact recalling HALF of their traits, the ones that made us happy. In truth they had traits that made us less happy and we also perceived faults that made us sad. It sounds too easy and a little unbelievable! Having experienced grief firsthand I have experienced the full impact of what an imbalanced perception can have. It is one of the hardest and difficult emotions to bear, shocking the system and when left unheard can seriously and adversely impact life in repeating cycles.

 

There is a way out of grief as described in my book called Breaking Through Loss ( Simply look up Amazon - Breaking Through Loss - Lynn Hope Thomas)

 

The real beauty in loss is the lesson it gives us in learning to love ourselves and not to dwell on what we miss in our deceased.

 

We can own the traits we loved and own the traits we disliked and in doing this we receive a beautiful gift of love from our deceased that they have passed over to us.

 

This Valentine day, I was happy to think about the balance I needed to bring into my life, the lessons of love and loss at the foremost of my mind. The gift is a priceless one.

 

As others rush around building fantasy and dreams that potentially set themselves up for grief , my focus is on loving myself. It may sound pompous to some, but often it is the hardest challenge the majority of us have. For me it is to be as balanced as I can, because in that state I am the best I am.

 

I am single, I am neither alone in that state nor am I any worse or better off. I am simply a single person this romantic month and I am wiser from the relationships I perceived I had lost because in reality each of them is as much within me each and every day. It cannot be any other way.

 

As I realise that for me grief is gone!

 

I want to help you to reach the same point too.

 

Lift up your heart for you ARE an amazing person who can bring so much joy to others. And if you don't believe that, then simply respond to me, I KNOW how much joy you can bring !

2015 NEW year NEW start with Gratitude

 

 

This year I am adopting a new plan, the idea is that if I work it and track the results then I can be 100% confident in training you to do the same! I won’t be reading anyone else’s work, I won’t be blindly replicating, I will be TRUE and AUTHENTIC.

 

So this is it! Since the turn of the year I have begun recording my daily gratefulness in a document.

I found that as the End of Year ‘Guides’ recommend that you reflect on the year and feel grateful I couldn’t even remember the year’s happenings…lol! Something like moving country!

That ‘annoyed’ me so to speak and it drove me to the decision to make a point of each and every day to write down my gratitude’s. Dr J F Demartini has been telling me that very thing since 2010 and I’ve half-heartedly done it.

Well this year 2015!

I LYNN HOPE THOMAS am doing it every day!!! And this is the end of the first month. I have approx. 100 things I am grateful for in January…imagine by December 2015 it will be approx. 1200. That in itself is awesome! Brings a tear thinking about it and even then I am humbled because I know the gratitude’s are infinite.

This month alone I have had some fabulous results. I see it as a consequence of dwelling on all that I am grateful for.

 

Examples are : -

1.       Improved close family relationships with my Mum & Dad and daughter

2.       Improved opportunities at work

3.       Increased social media exposure

4.       Increased social friendships

5.       Increased physical health

6.       Achievement of physical fitness in the form of 15K runs

7.       Request to feature in a book

8.       A new Client

9.       Respect for my opinions in vocational work

10.   More awareness of synchronicity

These are REAL results.

Somehow I can’t believe it yet it IS true!

I am testing the road out for you….if you follow me…you can do the same things too! If you have questions then please ask and I can help you. I AM your BUDDY

Over to you with love and thoughts of success for each and every one of us

Winter Seasons of Grief - London Tower Bridge

Winter in UK is a different season in Australia, however wherever you live you will have seasons of the year.

 

The seasons are there to remind us of the cycle of life :

 

Winter Hibernation

Spring Renewal

Summer Blooms

Autumn Shedding

 

I am just wondering about the order of the seasons…not that I can argue with nature!

 

Looking at grief it does seems to follow the seasonal pattern :

 

Winter	We hide away like winter, our emotions frozen and under cover. We limit our social activities and hide away from people as we assess our wounds and try re-evaluate our lives.
Spring	We eventually figure out that hibernation is one step from being dormant and we begin to open out a few shoots testing the way forward….a new way forward and  finally venturing into the world.
Summer	We begin to find our feet again and as Summer comes we begin to blossom with a new awareness and a realisation that life can still have purpose and feel good.
Autumn	As Autumn comes we can decide to shed old grief patterns. Letting go can mean throwing out old memories, clearing out aspects of our loved ones like old clothes, toys, things they used.

 

Yet still we want to keep hold of treasured items that generate the sweetest of memories of our loved ones.

 

What are those things for you ?

 

For me, it was the 'London Souvenir' a water dome that when shaken dropped snow over London Tower Bridge.

 

The significance to me, was that when my sisters were away from me on that school trip, they had thought about me, they had shown me love.

 

Based on that learning, it brings a warmth to know that during this long road of absence since their death, I know they are thinking of me.

 

I welcome you to ponder on this and find for yourselves that connection with your loved one.

 

As Dr J Demartini says 'Nothing is ever missing' and through his method I found this to be true http://bookstore.balboapress.com/Products/SKU-000609358/Breaking-Through-Loss.aspx

 

 

God Bless you all

 

X

Lynn

January Freeze!

It IS cold! Temperatures are not conducive to feeling anything!  Please note this blog is for fun only ( Well if you can find any fun in grief ?)   How this mirror's grief!   Grief definition : the freezing of emotions inside the body until human spirit is ready to 'face' feeling these emotions of sadness, despair, relief - did I say relief?   Yes!!   Sometimes we can fixate in grief when we are actually 'freezing' our 'relief over the loss of a family member.   You know the kind of thing…..family expects 'grief', Church expects grief! Of course it does depend what part of the world you live in, your religious views, how your family thinks and the history to that. Please add ! -  this list is even longer than I first thought.   Don't be blanketed by that 'cloak'! Throw it off!   Well…not whilst you out in the cold!!   I'm sure there is a song out there for these thoughts…please do remind me ;)   Please DO NOT SING frozen!

Back to Work after Christmas

 

Back to work after Christmas and New Year can be hard on the psyche.

Too much Christmas avoidance in the form of drink, eat and be merry with friends and laughter!

I guess if you are reading this post, it means I am not alone.

If you go through this each year then you might be able to comprehend how a grieving person feels…..

Going back to work …….after a loss is like ………………..returning after Christmas multiplied by x 10000!

High Five me  - if you know how it feels!